last weekend i went to the embassy for one of those gatherings. i haven't seen my fellow indonesians in quite a while so i thought that meeting a bunch of them could cure my homesick a bit. they cured it very well you bet - i don't miss indonesia anymore.
long story short, there were some people whom i just met, who started their first few lines of conversation with: 'mbak, why are you so big?' or 'why don't you diet?' do note that i just met these people and these happened in front of others as well.
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT. i have been living in wellington for four months and the people are nice and sweet and encouraging and not once i felt offended/discriminated yet the first offense i got is from my fellow indonesians. how ironic.
just like in most cases, i let that bapak-bapak laughed at me and their own jokes and let others to laugh at me as i responded jokingly and let myself be the object of bully although i wished the bapak-bapak did not make fun of me and the other people did not laugh at me and i did not let
myself to be the object of bully.
i seriously wished they were not like that. i mean, what can you truly expect when you put a
person down? what is the point of condescending someone -especially in front of others- other than to explicitly humiliate that person? and what did you get from that? a good laugh? can you really laugh on other people's misfortune/weaknesses? because yes i let you laughed at me and make me feel bad about myself that i could not live to your standards of normalcy and i might get a nervous breakdown of self-pity and self-loathe one day and you won't even know or care. so there are you happy now.
i have been fat for too long and have received too much insults so i have quite managed to let the insults passed. but i don't think that i will stoop down to their level and make fun of them in
return. although now i am seriously thinking of giving a comeback - for the sake of i don't get your jokes.
and i really wished that they were not like that. their attitude is a reminder for me of how
judgemental and nosy some people (indonesians) can be. and as long as you don't conform with the values they believe in, you will always be looked down on, through various unimaginable ways. i wish that they could be more civil. i wish that they could come up with better jokes.
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if i were you, id say something like:
thank you for laughing at me. if that makes you feel proud and confident ab out yourself. i believe you have a sad life and you want to take it out on other people. thats ok. i may be fat, but i'd rather be fat than rude or shallow like you.so thanks for the reminder.
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