throughout my twenty five years of living
i have crushes and fall in love but none reciprocate back
i can endure solitary feeling and the feeling of being unwanted
and build my self-esteem over and over and over and over again
and i know that tomorrow
i would probably be thinking of something else
like school assignments or what to have for breakfast
but tonight
tonight i am so angry with the universe
why do you make it so difficult for me to be loved by someone
March 31, 2008
March 26, 2008
on losing 20 kg
omg i went to the clinic today to do some weigh-in because i havent done so for the past few weeks (i got sick, assignments etc.), so i did. i was afraid that i might add more weight - but no baby, i shed an amazing 6 kg. hence in total i have lost 20 kg.
again, it looks like a HUGE figure, but please note that i am LARGER than an average human being, so.
it's still a long way to go.
nevertheless i am so happy (and feel so good about myself). (^_^) yeay!
again, it looks like a HUGE figure, but please note that i am LARGER than an average human being, so.
it's still a long way to go.
nevertheless i am so happy (and feel so good about myself). (^_^) yeay!
March 25, 2008
random wellington moments
most depressing moment 1:
when walking against the strong wind from the sea in a cloudy day while listening to all by myself from celine dion (i am a sucker for sappy songs). by the time i arrived at the waterfront i was almost crying if not for the many people there.
most depressing moment 2:
when walking uphill for miles to my friend's house at karori in the middle of the rain at 8PM with a suitcase and a heavy backpack - it was couple of days after the stafford house fire when we were told that we had to wait longer before returning to staffor. at that time i was hungry, all wet and tired. i couldn't remember whether it was tears or rain on my cheek.
most tiring moment:
climbing to the eight floor of staffor house and a hot day with heavy grocery. i feel like i wanna knock someone's head.
most studious moment:
not getting enough sleep 5 days in row trying to finish the assignments i've been postponing for a month (i know it's shameful). and i still dislike economics.
happiest moment #1:
all the dinners and the drinks and the movies and the late-night chat and the operas with the besties.
happiest moment #2:
losing weight hell yeah.
most homesick moment:when i was sick and i was longing for congee. terrible, terrible, terrible feeling. i didn't get the congee i ate indomie instead.
most impulsive buying moment:
when i found out that here in NZ they have shoes for size 11 and 12. and they also have clothes my size. and every time i see whittaker's chocolate.
most indonesia moment:
- when speaking bahasa indonesia of course!
- when eating indomie
- when browsing for indonesian thingy at youtube
most i-miss-my-family moment:
when skyping with my sisters and mum and dad for the first time. and dad was putting his hand on the screen trying to touch my face and mum shouted: 'ihh anak mama kurusan! coba liat perutnya'. *tears*
most mouth-watering moment:
- when eating the salmon fillet at fisherman's table - the BEST ever
- eating whittaker's chocolate yes we should support local product
- when eating lamb chops another local product we should support
most contemplative moment:
when sitting on the bench at the waterfront, bench at the beehive, bench at the bolton cemetery, bench at the civic square. don't we just love benches especially on a bright day while eating ice cream and reading books or folding that origami papers of yours.
ah yes. it has been an interesting first two months so far.
when walking against the strong wind from the sea in a cloudy day while listening to all by myself from celine dion (i am a sucker for sappy songs). by the time i arrived at the waterfront i was almost crying if not for the many people there.
most depressing moment 2:
when walking uphill for miles to my friend's house at karori in the middle of the rain at 8PM with a suitcase and a heavy backpack - it was couple of days after the stafford house fire when we were told that we had to wait longer before returning to staffor. at that time i was hungry, all wet and tired. i couldn't remember whether it was tears or rain on my cheek.
most tiring moment:
climbing to the eight floor of staffor house and a hot day with heavy grocery. i feel like i wanna knock someone's head.
most studious moment:
not getting enough sleep 5 days in row trying to finish the assignments i've been postponing for a month (i know it's shameful). and i still dislike economics.
happiest moment #1:
all the dinners and the drinks and the movies and the late-night chat and the operas with the besties.
happiest moment #2:
losing weight hell yeah.
most homesick moment:when i was sick and i was longing for congee. terrible, terrible, terrible feeling. i didn't get the congee i ate indomie instead.
most impulsive buying moment:
when i found out that here in NZ they have shoes for size 11 and 12. and they also have clothes my size. and every time i see whittaker's chocolate.
most indonesia moment:
- when speaking bahasa indonesia of course!
- when eating indomie
- when browsing for indonesian thingy at youtube
most i-miss-my-family moment:
when skyping with my sisters and mum and dad for the first time. and dad was putting his hand on the screen trying to touch my face and mum shouted: 'ihh anak mama kurusan! coba liat perutnya'. *tears*
most mouth-watering moment:
- when eating the salmon fillet at fisherman's table - the BEST ever
- eating whittaker's chocolate yes we should support local product
- when eating lamb chops another local product we should support
most contemplative moment:
when sitting on the bench at the waterfront, bench at the beehive, bench at the bolton cemetery, bench at the civic square. don't we just love benches especially on a bright day while eating ice cream and reading books or folding that origami papers of yours.
ah yes. it has been an interesting first two months so far.
March 19, 2008
cover picture (19 march 2008)
the dominion post puts a picture of two men holding an 'old jar lid' that turns out to be a rare medal.the jakarta post puts a picture of anxious-looking people holding tickets of adam air as they waited in front of adam air's office.
if you think 'how could a jar lid can be put as the cover picture next to the headline of technical recession' and think that jar lid stories should be at the saturday paper instead, then we great minds, think alike.
March 13, 2008
i learn to cook thanks to youtube
hi mum your daughter can cook something today and nobody got poisoned. my flatmate today said that 'hmm this is good' and took three more of the perkedel kentang made by...yours truly.
that never happened before. no one has ever taken the food that i cook unless i stuffed the food into their mouth. ahhh the tears of joy.
potato fritters a.k.a perkedel kentang a.k.a kartoffel frikadellen as our fellow indonesian students called it. they generously showed how to make good comfort food all the way from aachen germany. link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygLi-xzy0zA
may they live long and prosper.
that never happened before. no one has ever taken the food that i cook unless i stuffed the food into their mouth. ahhh the tears of joy.
potato fritters a.k.a perkedel kentang a.k.a kartoffel frikadellen as our fellow indonesian students called it. they generously showed how to make good comfort food all the way from aachen germany. link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygLi-xzy0zAmay they live long and prosper.
March 8, 2008
homesick
so this is how it feels.
the awful longing feeling that sort of keeps you from doing anything. i should have known this and admit to myself that i am homesick - but it's just me wanting to look tough (this thing about me wanting to look tough is getting annoying day by day).
because i checked my skype every so often to see whether my sisters are online so i could just talk nonsense with them. or bug my office colleagues in YM for the newest office happenings.
or when i tried several times to make that sayur bayam or that bakwan which i failed miserably and it was frustrating because there are times when you just want to be reminded about how good the foods are back home. no matter how tasty the lamb chops or chocolate fish or pavlova here.
so then i went to a malaysian restaurant and had chicken satay for dinner but still the taste is different. they grilled it differently! they cooked the rice differently!
my only remedy now is indomie goreng (god bless pt.indofood sukses makmur) - the only food that i know how to cook correctly.
and then when i got sick all i want to do is eat bowls of congee made by abang tukang bubur mang gendut because it cures flu better than the overpriced medicine you bought.
i just want to speak and type in bahasa indonesia karena itu mengingatkan diriku akan AYAH IBU ADIK TEMAN KAKEK NENEK SAUDARA NDUTY PIM BAKMI AKUN MAIN KARTU POKE SUSHI GORENGAN CINTA LAURA MARTABAK MANIS TEH BOTOL DAN INDONESIA.
the awful longing feeling that sort of keeps you from doing anything. i should have known this and admit to myself that i am homesick - but it's just me wanting to look tough (this thing about me wanting to look tough is getting annoying day by day).
because i checked my skype every so often to see whether my sisters are online so i could just talk nonsense with them. or bug my office colleagues in YM for the newest office happenings.
or when i tried several times to make that sayur bayam or that bakwan which i failed miserably and it was frustrating because there are times when you just want to be reminded about how good the foods are back home. no matter how tasty the lamb chops or chocolate fish or pavlova here.
so then i went to a malaysian restaurant and had chicken satay for dinner but still the taste is different. they grilled it differently! they cooked the rice differently!
my only remedy now is indomie goreng (god bless pt.indofood sukses makmur) - the only food that i know how to cook correctly.
and then when i got sick all i want to do is eat bowls of congee made by abang tukang bubur mang gendut because it cures flu better than the overpriced medicine you bought.
i just want to speak and type in bahasa indonesia karena itu mengingatkan diriku akan AYAH IBU ADIK TEMAN KAKEK NENEK SAUDARA NDUTY PIM BAKMI AKUN MAIN KARTU POKE SUSHI GORENGAN CINTA LAURA MARTABAK MANIS TEH BOTOL DAN INDONESIA.
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