the austrian man

the austrian man who locked his daughter for 24 years and sexually abused her and have seven children with her is JUST_DISGUSTING.

this is insane.

the strapless bra

i went to one of the stores in lambton quay today to buy a strapless bra - i never have one before because my mum is so convinced that there is no strapless bra my size and my mum always buy me my bras because i am too ashamed to buy one myself because i am afraid that the store might not have my size which is quite true because i know my mum always go to this store in mangga dua to buy my bras and once i went with her and the store owner didn't even ask my size because the first few words that came out of my mum's lovely lips were: 'i want the biggest bra for my big daughter!' and as a typical indonesian response in that sort of situation, all the people in the store started staring at me for three seconds and then started laughing in which my mum then went kiddingly innocent by saying 'yes i've told my daughter many times to lose weight gak tau nih susah amat ngurusin badan' and people started to look strangely at me between pity and disgust. i do not want to go through that sort of humiliation again, ever.

so god bless new zealand because in this country there are bras and strapless bras my size. even if my weight was still 26 kilos higher there is also bras for that size. so i was quite happy. there is this particular strapless bra that i like which price is equal to the minimum wage in indonesia. what is even more ironic is that the bra is made in indonesia. heck the irony of export-import.

i practically spent another 30 minutes there just to decide whether to buy the bra or not and with due respect to indonesia's minimum wage i decided to buy it because how can i wear a nice-fitted see-through kebaya without a strapless bra, and i never have one before, fair reasons no. and this bra - it was a nice one, it fitted perfectly. although the cup is a wee too big. i think my boobs are also shrinking due to weightloss. seriously if i do ever reach my ideal weight, my arse and boobs will be like, vanished, i am flat as an ironboard.

so i walked to the cashier and holy smolly the cashier was a guy. it's the whole humiliation thing again but this time it was just me and my ridiculous fear of what-ifs. what if the guy who i don't even know thinks 'hah this fat chick is buying a strapless bra mhwahahaaha', what if the cashier guy thinks that i don't deserve a strapless bra. long story short i didn't buy the strapless bra. it is crazy how our fear can control our action.

i mean, why should i care at the first place. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY. but at that point inside the store, i did care. i fear his perception of me (the fat chick). i fear the possibility of being humiliated (which is quite unlikely because my mum wasn't there with me). i fear that i can't stand the feeling of a stranger seeing the size of my bra.

this is one of those times when my self-confidence hit rock bottom. i should not kid myself - I AM STILL FAT. there is a huge volume of fats inside my body that needs to be shed. but now i am a much happier and healthier person. and yes sometimes reality hits me, and occassional ridiculous fears do strike. i do really need to know how to master my fears however. and bounce back.

i am going to go back to the store tomorrow and buy that strapless bra.

things to do while in jakarta

it is still sixty-something days left before the trimester break to jakarta and i have figured out already what i want to do there. i am perfecting my to-do list each time before i sleep every single night - especially if i can't sleep. my brain works best for stuff like this.

things to do:

1 - go to bersih sehat
2 - go to malls (asians make the best malls ever - tacky yet addictive)
3 - have my hair done (another smoothing)
4 - have my hair cut
5 - have my eyebrows plucked
6 - see my nutritionist
7 - eat cow's brain, cow's lung, cow's tripes anykind of offal
8 - eat sundanese food (at that laksana restaurant which makes the best sambal, sundanese make the best sambal ever)
9 - savour poke sushi (poke sushi IS an institution!)
10 - eat congee and lots of congee
11 - eat satay (javanese make the best satay ever)
12 - visit asean secretariat
13 - visit inaya (and her soon-to-be newborn baby
14 - visit my nutritionist
15 - buy DVDs at mangga dua
16 - s.h.o.p
17 - make dinner for the family (mhwahahaha!)
18 - drive without having to worry of speed limit :p
19 - catching-up with the bestfriends
20 - play with nduty with language only i and ade and nduty understand
21 - indulge cable tv
22 - watch E! everyday
23 - accompany mum shop fabrics and gold and learn the art of haggling from her excellency
24 - buy a new sony ericsson earphone
25 - have lunch with dad near/in his office whenever possible
26 - jog/swim regularly to sustain the weightloss
27 - watch local tv also and figure out what this roncar ad is all about
28 - make a kebaya (why for independence day of course, and for other indonesia-related events)
29 - buy a nice dress for hari raya
30 - have afternoon naps with mum
31 - more etc.etc.

i am broke (feat. help me mommy)

all these backpacking trips
and gourmet dinings
and autumn-wear shopping
do cost me quite a lot

i don't really check my account balance regularly
afraid that it might get fewer
and fewer everyday

but something inside me say:
of course it will get fewer
as i shop almost everyday

spending money
is one of my vicious circles in life aside
from overeating and self-deprecating

but something inside me say:
of course it will get fewer
as i shop almost everyday

whooppssie
how come i am now owning so few!
it is time to live on budget

but how
but how
tell me tell me how
but how
but how

is it just me or do you also think that cutaway heels are bizzare

the more i see them the more i am convinced that they are the most bizzare-looking shoes ever. ever. ever.

this one is from junko shimada.

perbincangan YM #152313

tipikal perbincangan YM sehari-hari nomor 152313:

imbi: eh bo. ini adalah berita yan baru saja kuketahui
dayen: apahkah
imbi: daniel craig udah punya anak umur 15 tahun
imbi: what the fuck
dayen: wtf
dayen: tapi gak heran sih
dayen: he is such a hottie
imbi: IYAAAAHhh
dayen: gue akan menebar sperma dimana2 if i were him
imbi: *pingsan dengan perlahan
imbi: HUAHHAHAHAHA...u r such a promiskiyus
dayen: i am not promiskiyus i am just horny
dayen: *mau dong ditebar sperma sama daniel craig
imbi: TAI
imbi: ANTRI
dayen: wahahahaahahahahahha

nasi ketan

dari kemarin kok otak gue mikirin nasi ketan melulu ya.

nasi ketan aku ingin sekali memakanmu. huuhuu

four size smaller and a catastrophe

as i was spending my friday afternoon watching a british reality tv show where two (stylish) women attempt to do a makeover someone's wardrobe and look - i glanced at my own wardrobe and sweet niblet i should get meself new clothes!

i actually didn't want to and plan to buy clothes back home in jakartaland - but i do realise these few weeks that although i love the feeling that i am shrinking, my jeans are getting saggier and saggier and there are times when i feel like i am dressing like ms.mcfrumpy or like those kids around the block who fashion jeans 3 size bigger, with hood and all.

so i bought several fashion magazines (ahh civilisation!) to sort of update this laid-back self and then went shopping and got myself a new pair of jeans (FOUR SIZE SMALLER) and a nicely tailored black tweed that would come very snuggly (and pretty) in wellington's windy autumn. i also bought red flats and a black maryjane. and a new haircut.

the haircut was a SERIOUS DISASTER. THE STYLIST CUT AT ALL THE WRONG PLACES HENCE MAKING MY FACE SEEM TO INFLATE. and bloudyhell haircut here is twenty times more expensive than jakarta. remind me NOT TO HAVE my hair cut by someone who doesn't seem to have her hair trimmed for ages.

all those money for this?!!!

5km marathon training: week 1

as suggested by www.runnersworld.co.uk and with a bit of my own modification, below is my training regime week 1.

mon - rest day
tue - today i walked 2.5 hours nonstop
wed - run 1 mins, walk 1 mins, repeat 10 times
thu - run 2 mins, walk 4 mins, repeat 5 times
fri - rest day
sat - walk uphill to kelburn
sun - run 2 mins, walk 4 mins, repeat 5 times

to the southmost part of the north island and everything in between

31 march 2008

04.15-05.00: woke up, made bed, fried those chips and fish fillets for picnic

05.00-06.30: went to wellington, fetched karl and levi at mcd newtown - i went to the wrong mcd, excuses moi i was half asleep. fetched livia at stafford. off we went


06.30-08.00: journey to featherston was magnificent. the sunrise is very pretty. the road however was scary. up-down the hills with the sea below. i just love driving. my dad loves driving

08.00-08.30: went to the henley lake at masterton to find out that they cancelled the morning hot air balloon show because the wind was too strong - wtf - we were so dissapointed

08.30-09.30: didnt know what to do we went to stonehenge aotearoa - its like a stonehenge - but the tacky version of it. so tacky that i insisted on seeing. road there was nice. hills hills and sheeps and cows. too many of them in fact that the air smelt bad. but when we arrived the stonehenge was closed and we just found out that you have to make an appointment first (but lonelyplanet didnt say that!). sucky dissapointment number two


09.30-10.30: sulking on our misery we went to greytown - a small yet charming little town that i fell in love with. the people are really friendly that even passerbies smile to each other (unlike wellingtonians - but we're still charming). we ate some french bread (i ate eclairs) at this french bakery where people queued. the bread was good. finally we went to schoc - an amazing chocolatier. they have really weird tastes like earl grey, lime chilli, rose, lavender, olive, geranium, pepper, basil and 47 other tastes. it tastes extremely good also! amazing. my favorite so far is rose. must_visit_again


10.30-13.00: went to martinborough to do some wine-tasting. i didn't take even a sip because i was driving boohoo. we went to four or five vineyards. some of them are free the other you have to pay between 2 to 5 dollars. not bad


13.00 - 15.30: went down to cape palliser. cape palliser is the southmost point of the north island. the road there is rather bumpy as it is gravel road (i feel sorry for the car haha) but the view is just amazing. the beaches are rugged and there is this sense of out of the world feel as you arrived. there is a seal colony. i saw some of them they were all sleeping (or just enjoying the sun). cute animals. i didn't climb up to the cape palliser lighthouse though. its like climbing up to the 11th floor. no thankyou


15.30-19.30: on our back we planned to go straight ahead to wellington but dina told us that the evening show is on so we went back to masterton. so yes. there were hot air balloons as we expected. they gave us balloons also. i felt so happy like a nine-year old

19.30-22.00: we went before the fireworks started because i was getting sleepier and i didn't want to risk driving under sleeping influence. the way back was crazy. as we had to pass the zigzaggy road of wairarapa and it was raining so hard and the inside part of the window evaporated. so yeah. i vow not to drive through that hills if it rains

22.00-24.00: dropped livia at stafford. went to vieng's house again with karl and levi (hah i am so cheap i dont want to spend 4 dollars per hour for parking in front of stafford house) so i parked all the way at porirua

09.00: returned the car back to apex. i was so tired. and hadn't even started on the policy tools and practice assignment

(i finished it of course the next day at 3.30 PM with extrahard labour and two plates of indomie at night and the very few moments of grace)

wellington-kapiti-otaki-porirua

29 march 2008

9.00: fetched car from apex rental cars, check check, off i went

9.00 - 9.30: went to newtown, whatever bays around wellington city, driving's pretty good, i went too slow - but give me a break, newbies here, wonderful wonderful wonderful scenery, must go to these bays again sometimes (karl texted, 'diana we're at campus already')

10.00: karl and levi joined we went up to the kapiti coast

10.00-12.00: played at the kapiti coast or the coast of dead birds. when i stepped in i thought
those are feathers but they're actually dead birds. it was soooo disgusting (ewww and icky too).
the kapiti island in front of the kapiti coast is a bird sanctuary perhaps these poor birds got
carried away by a tide or something. beach was empty

we had lunch at the park in front of the beach. there were lotssss of ducks. and they were
following us because we had foods. the ducks that were inside the pond went up and crowded us. if they were in jakarta they wont be alive and directly made into tender roast duck instead hahahaha

12.00-13.00: went further up to otaki beach. cleaner beach. but reallly quiet
13.00 - 15.00: went down. passed lower hutt. (not a really impressive city). stopped at pak n save to use the toilet hehehe. went back to wellington
15.00 - 15.30: went to pipitea. met vieng and nak. tried to persuade nak to join. nak joined us to
oriental bay
16.00 - 17.00: went to oriental bay. persuaded nak even more to join tomorrow. dropped karl and
levi and nak at their houses. went back to pipitea

17.00 - 18.30: fetched vieng. went up to porirua. stopped by at new world to buy some food. went to chitt's house as his family came the day after. went to vieng's house. got honked by this lady because i didn't 'give way'. i hate give-ways. we don't do give-ways in indonesia

18.30 - 04.00: i lovee vieng's house. so cozy and spacious with amazing view. helped vieng cook. me cut carrots and potatoes and wasted quite lots of them hehehe. ate good laotian foods with vieng and chitt. talked nonsense until twelve. took bath and then slept. everything perfect.