was not overweight overnight

i admire people who are discipline enough to perform self-control. like, taking care of your food intakes and exercise regularly. or limiting your facebook access less than 15 minutes a day (i can't i have cougar o'connor to feed!). the things to do to meet your own deadlines and to achieve your own targets.

how do you do that? i have tried like a zillion times to be in control of the food i eat and i repeteadly failed. you name it, 'lack of motivation' or 'not discipline enough' or 'i just don't feel like it'. i could come up with a thousand excuses to justify my constant failures. i was not overweight overnight. i know that too well. i know what i should do, what i should eat, the names of nutritionists and doctors too too well.

and that's where it gets ironic - you know what you should do but you constantly fail in doing it and sometimes you just get exhausted, perhaps because you're afraid you might again fail.

the silly part is that, i know that i have to go through this, because the more we try to escape from reality the harder it will us. it is bound to hit us. you just got to be brave enough to face it and be done with it. and then you can move on.

reality hit me now.