cranky no sleep

i have this bad feeling that this am gonna be cranky all this week. not that bad actually, as i tend to become more aggressive and hardworking when cranky.

by the by, that's one ugly title i put.

it started off from staying the whole sunday night cross-checking database of projects under whathaveyous - i finished off at 3AM and woke up at 4.30AM. then it was a busy day today, all the meeting next week and the documents we have to finish off. looks like there are a lot of things i have in my tray, and i couldn't really nail them because i am occupied of nailing other people's things not that i want to but then this sort of 'being responsible' feeling just creeps into me and i couldn't help it because you sort of think that things will go cuckoo if you're not doing anything about it hah talking about wanting to save things - ghhaaahhhh thinking about it makes me feel crankier.

i think it's because of the lack of sleep and the overplaying of janis joplin and the fact that my hairdo is now a mess.

oh no, since when hairdo is in the picture. i need my eight-hour sleep.

i am back and i am not happy

holaaaaaaa.......

am back. i gained my original weight back when i first started in december 2006 - slightly 2 or 3 kilos higher, due to the massive amount of food intakes and a very sendentary lifestyle.

feeling guilty, you bet. hate myself, not quite.

so yesterday in the attempt to work on my passion to have a healthy lifestyle - passion needs to be worked out!- i bought 2 weight watchers magazines and a harvard business review book on managing your time. the magazines were intended to stimulate my interest in healthy lifestyle, while the HBR book - i feel that im somewhat pretty much laid back, i tend to blame that i don't have enough time.

oh another reason, i just got back from ha noi last friday - i love that place, but i felt intimidated in that place- or rather, i felt intimidated by the way hanoians -correct?- looked at me. you don't really get a big-sized person in hanoi. so everywhere i go, they were like staring and giggling and violently laughing. i tried to keep cool and you know, being all 'you can't put me down' look, but still, i feel like gulliver.

and i am not happy.

see my toes while standing

so far i have lost 7 kg since 10 december 2006. quite fast isn't.

on the first week i faithfully brought my own lunch and was really strict with the calorie intake. le pepe took us to an all you can eat suki dinner at the mulia and i ate only 3 pieces of what i think look and taste sort of cabbagish, one big mushroom, and 1 fishball.

but then i splurged during the weekends. char kwuay teow, fishball soup, whopper [ain't no whopper in j-town!], rum raisin ice cream eaten in the street side while watching people goof around. but i did a lot of walking so i consider that as a bit of exercise.

however i still couldn't get my fatass out for-even-a brisk walk. i did went out for a 15 minute walk on wednesday and i felt so good because i walked around the neighborhood and the air was fresh and the sun has just risen. but after that no more. i have set the alarm to 5 AM and even put my walking shoes next to the bed so i could just put it instantly and then go walk yet it didn't happen.

but i will not give up. move you lazybum!

i ate so much today. cheeseburger, bagel, lemper, salmon salad, and dewi will take us out for dinner tonight so that will be slices of pizzas inside my fattummy. unless i can show my self control like i did when le pepe took us out for dinner.

and when i have shed half of my current weight i will be able to see my toes while standing.

pah pulang mamah basah

on my way to the office this morning in the streets of cinere i saw a big writing 'pah pulang mamah basah' on the back of a truck.

translated: 'daddy come home mommy is wet'

only in indonesia.