October 14, 2008

anon quotes

"i still can't believe that they decided to move in together. they've just been together for like, a month. even monica and chandler moved in together at season 6!" - over shiraz and cheese, the terrace

"but he's five years youngers than me. that's like, he was just born when i entered elementary school." - mezzanine, rutherford house

"my exams will finish on the 4th or 5th...do you wanna have lunch..or something after that?" -text message

friend #1: "he's been hurting you and you're still nice to him?"
friend #2: "because i don't want to be the bad one you see. i want to be the good person. the bigger person."
friend #1: "um...."
friend #2: "well, literally i am, but." - mezzanine, rutherford house

friend #1: "so have you been to burma?"
friend #2: "yes in 2005. by the way, you should call it myanmar, politically correct."
friend #1: "i can call it anyway i want to. the media calls it burma."
friend #2: "but you're a southeast asian, you should call it myanmar." - over dinner, the terrace

friend #1: "i really want to drink that wine. but those girls are sitting in front of me."
friend #2: "so?"
friend #1: "because i know them and i don't want them to be all judgemental about me drinking alcohol."
friend #2: "yeah but you're just being judgemental about them being judgemental if they see you drinking that wine." - fujiyama restaurant

"this ostrich tastes like beef. i feel scammed." - the chameleon, intercontinental

"i really shouldn't have come to the dinner. what makes me feel blah is the fact that how i can still be affected seeing the two of them together - and i really didn't see it coming. that it can still upset me. shucks." - mezzanine, rutherford house

September 30, 2008

the eid

it's 12.51AM of 1 shawal and usually at this time i already slept with an extremely full stomach of all the glorious eid dishes.

or sometimes i tried really hard to sleep but i couldn't - the masjid next to our house do the takbir for one full night. sometimes i wish their speakerphone got broken or something.

and by 5AM dad would wake the four of us and he would be this extremely annoying if by 5.15AM we are still in our bed. he always said that we might not get a praying spot at the masjid. dad, we live next to the masjid, there's no way we could not get a spot. i never argue that with him by the way. it's taken for granted, we always leave the house by 6.15.

oh yeah, do you notice that it's always sunny in the morning of 1 shawal?

after the eid prayer we would do the sungkeman, a.k.a the javanese way of showing respect and asking for forgiveness. it's always solemn when we do it to my mom and dad. but my sisters don't really take sungkeman with me seriously. disrespectful lots.

and mom and dad will give us the eid pocket money. but i've stopped receiving mine since i got my first job.

then we'd go to gramps' house and see mum's 100+ relatives or so. jakartans breed like rabbits. but it's always fun. they are the most kind-hearted people ever.

around 4pm we usually head back home but stop by first at some supermarket to buy 'travel-foods' that is, chips and chocolates and the likes, for the overnight drive to my dad's hometown of cepu.

at 8pm my dad the obsessive-compulsive would make sure that our suitcases have been put in his car. he always drives his red toyota land cruiser to cepu, his pride and joy, the car that is. i remember that he really wanted that car since 1996 or so but can afford to buy it only in 2004.

when we were still kids mum used to make lemper, sandwiches and other snack foods for the trip. 'to save money' she said. but most of the time we ended up not eating those foods and opted for chips and chocolates. she stopped making them when i was 17.

back to the land cruiser, we have a sort of seating arrangement. driver seat = dad, front seat = mum or me, middle seat = anita/mom or me, back seat = attika/ade. it's obvious that age determines where we sit. i am usually in the front seat when dad needs help with navigation/the map, or when the air conditioner gets too cold.

we sing a lot in the car. like a lot. or we play the 'read the sign' game. so we read aloud every sign that we see on the road, the winner is one who can say it the most. it is through the sign game that we know that the wasgitel tea stands for 'wangi sepet legit kentel'.

at 2.30AM (or anytime my dad feels like waking up) we will leave the house to cepu. my dad is the best driver ever. we leave the house that early to avoid heavy traffic. the jakarta-cepu route that is usually 12-14 hours by car can be done in just 7-8 hours.

this year same thing will happen. exactly same thing but without me.

and i will never see eid the same again.

September 25, 2008

bika ambon gosong

title is self-explanatory. i blew up the cake.



August 25, 2008

we die to each other daily

we die to each other daily. what we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. and they have changed since then - t.s. eliot, the cocktail party

why do we choose this path and not the otherwise.
maybe we both are not capable of taking that risk.
maybe we are not great lovers after all.
what is it that really scares us.
what is it that distance us apart.

i live, and die to you, daily.

August 20, 2008

what is really to worry about

benjamin paradza, a public policy student and a classmate of mine, delivered a public lecture today on the judiciary in zimbabwe. ben was a high court judge back then in zimbabwe. one of his court decisions did not please the leader, mr. robert mugabe. long story short, his life were threatened and he had to leave the country and enter new zealand as a refugee.

sometimes we indonesians see our freedom of speech, the freedom of a judicial system to make independent judgement and the capacity of us to exercise all of that without fear, for granted. and paradoxically, sometimes we worry that freedom of speech would lead us to only messy situations.

but what is really to worry about?

i personally trust that indonesians are capable of exercising a check and balance system - it might not be smooth, but it's there. the capacity of us for doing so is so fundamental, as it assures that everybody is heard and be heard, whether they like or not, whether they agree or disagree. and the fact that the state protects our freedom of speech, is something that we really should not take for granted.

i hope the state would never change their mind. i really can't think of the otherwise.

August 11, 2008

good to be back

long time no post.

i have been busy studying (yes you read that right) as next week my classes will start.

ahh..the thrill of postgraduate life.

it's good to be back.

June 9, 2008

percakapan jarak jauh tidak penting dengan bebeb

bebeb = adikku yg berusia 15 tahun (nama asli: ade)

berikut adalah percakapan hari ini yg tidak penting:

diana: beb masa besok aku mo ngopi sama cowok yg aku bahkan tidak begitu kenal
bebeb: apa? mbak diana mo kencan?
diana: enggak beb bukan kencan, minum kopi
bebeb: ciyyeehh kakakku sudah beranjak dewasa, sudah balig nyahaahhaaaahaha (bebeb = adik yang suka melecehkan kakaknya, diana = kakak yang tidak punya wibawa)

bebeb: emang namanya siapa?
diana: s-----h
bebeb: siapa? surap? urap?
diana: beb, jangan dibuat main deh, kayak nama kamu gak aneh aja kalo disebut sama bule, 'what is your name? what? eddy? edi?'

bebeb: iya jadi kak masa ada anak teknik yang suka sama aku...makanya kakak cepetan punya pacar dong, jadi ade juga boleh pacaran, yah yah
diana: aku bilang mama ah! hahahahahahaha (diana = tipikal kakak culas dan pengadu)
bebeb: kakak jangan bilang mama! nanti aku bilangin ke mama kalau kakak disana kerjaannya ---- ---- sama ----- -----
diana: halah kamu tapi kan gak punya bukti weeeekkk (sambil menjulurkan lidah, padahal jarak jauh, refleks yang aneh)
bebeb: punya sih! kakak kan waktu itu kirim fotonya di ym
diana: (terdiam menyadari kebodohan)
diana: ya udah deh aku gak bilang mama, aku cerita ke attika-chan tapi boleh ya

May 21, 2008

microwave chicken and no surprises

oil price hits $129 per barrel today. are we in recession already? this one looks like it's going to stay pretty long.

former jakarta governor (and the most respected one) - mr. ali sadikin died yesterday. may you rest in peace.

cooking raw chicken by just microwave-ing it turned out very simple and tasty too. i've seen my flatmate alice done it couple of times but was too reluctant to try it, as i thought that it is beyond the traditional way of cooking (fry, boil, grill, stew), and microwave, i thought, is just for heating purposes. my perception thus has changed. although my mother would so not approve cooking raw chicken using microwave.

i gain 1.2 kilos due to the excessive party foods and drinks and my sudden cravings on mince pie and chips on 10pm every night. dammit. i am not going back to THAT size anymore. i joined the campus gym yesterday but only for the group exercise classes. yesterday we did yoga and i couldn't do the boat position. my belly and thighs are so big they have a sense of gravity of their own. and now i am having stiff muscles. ooh shoot.

i am overplaying radiohead's no surprises. and rialto's and good old smashing pumpkins. i miss the old-schools. they make me feel mushy and depressed and sorrowful and i like it.

May 19, 2008

on people who make fun of others and how i wished they were not like that

last weekend i went to the embassy for one of those gatherings. i haven't seen my fellow indonesians in quite a while so i thought that meeting a bunch of them could cure my homesick a bit. they cured it very well you bet - i don't miss indonesia anymore.

long story short, there were some people whom i just met, who started their first few lines of conversation with: 'mbak, why are you so big?' or 'why don't you diet?' do note that i just met these people and these happened in front of others as well.

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT. i have been living in wellington for four months and the people are nice and sweet and encouraging and not once i felt offended/discriminated yet the first offense i got is from my fellow indonesians. how ironic.

just like in most cases, i let that bapak-bapak laughed at me and their own jokes and let others to laugh at me as i responded jokingly and let myself be the object of bully although i wished the bapak-bapak did not make fun of me and the other people did not laugh at me and i did not let
myself to be the object of bully.

i seriously wished they were not like that. i mean, what can you truly expect when you put a
person down? what is the point of condescending someone -especially in front of others- other than to explicitly humiliate that person? and what did you get from that? a good laugh? can you really laugh on other people's misfortune/weaknesses? because yes i let you laughed at me and make me feel bad about myself that i could not live to your standards of normalcy and i might get a nervous breakdown of self-pity and self-loathe one day and you won't even know or care. so there are you happy now.

i have been fat for too long and have received too much insults so i have quite managed to let the insults passed. but i don't think that i will stoop down to their level and make fun of them in
return. although now i am seriously thinking of giving a comeback - for the sake of i don't get your jokes.

and i really wished that they were not like that. their attitude is a reminder for me of how
judgemental and nosy some people (indonesians) can be. and as long as you don't conform with the values they believe in, you will always be looked down on, through various unimaginable ways. i wish that they could be more civil. i wish that they could come up with better jokes.

April 29, 2008

the austrian man

the austrian man who locked his daughter for 24 years and sexually abused her and have seven children with her is JUST_DISGUSTING.

this is insane.

April 27, 2008

the strapless bra

i went to one of the stores in lambton quay today to buy a strapless bra - i never have one before because my mum is so convinced that there is no strapless bra my size and my mum always buy me my bras because i am too ashamed to buy one myself because i am afraid that the store might not have my size which is quite true because i know my mum always go to this store in mangga dua to buy my bras and once i went with her and the store owner didn't even ask my size because the first few words that came out of my mum's lovely lips were: 'i want the biggest bra for my big daughter!' and as a typical indonesian response in that sort of situation, all the people in the store started staring at me for three seconds and then started laughing in which my mum then went kiddingly innocent by saying 'yes i've told my daughter many times to lose weight gak tau nih susah amat ngurusin badan' and people started to look strangely at me between pity and disgust. i do not want to go through that sort of humiliation again, ever.

so god bless new zealand because in this country there are bras and strapless bras my size. even if my weight was still 26 kilos higher there is also bras for that size. so i was quite happy. there is this particular strapless bra that i like which price is equal to the minimum wage in indonesia. what is even more ironic is that the bra is made in indonesia. heck the irony of export-import.

i practically spent another 30 minutes there just to decide whether to buy the bra or not and with due respect to indonesia's minimum wage i decided to buy it because how can i wear a nice-fitted see-through kebaya without a strapless bra, and i never have one before, fair reasons no. and this bra - it was a nice one, it fitted perfectly. although the cup is a wee too big. i think my boobs are also shrinking due to weightloss. seriously if i do ever reach my ideal weight, my arse and boobs will be like, vanished, i am flat as an ironboard.

so i walked to the cashier and holy smolly the cashier was a guy. it's the whole humiliation thing again but this time it was just me and my ridiculous fear of what-ifs. what if the guy who i don't even know thinks 'hah this fat chick is buying a strapless bra mhwahahaaha', what if the cashier guy thinks that i don't deserve a strapless bra. long story short i didn't buy the strapless bra. it is crazy how our fear can control our action.

i mean, why should i care at the first place. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY. but at that point inside the store, i did care. i fear his perception of me (the fat chick). i fear the possibility of being humiliated (which is quite unlikely because my mum wasn't there with me). i fear that i can't stand the feeling of a stranger seeing the size of my bra.

this is one of those times when my self-confidence hit rock bottom. i should not kid myself - I AM STILL FAT. there is a huge volume of fats inside my body that needs to be shed. but now i am a much happier and healthier person. and yes sometimes reality hits me, and occassional ridiculous fears do strike. i do really need to know how to master my fears however. and bounce back.

i am going to go back to the store tomorrow and buy that strapless bra.

April 26, 2008

things to do while in jakarta

it is still sixty-something days left before the trimester break to jakarta and i have figured out already what i want to do there. i am perfecting my to-do list each time before i sleep every single night - especially if i can't sleep. my brain works best for stuff like this.

things to do:

1 - go to bersih sehat
2 - go to malls (asians make the best malls ever - tacky yet addictive)
3 - have my hair done (another smoothing)
4 - have my hair cut
5 - have my eyebrows plucked
6 - see my nutritionist
7 - eat cow's brain, cow's lung, cow's tripes anykind of offal
8 - eat sundanese food (at that laksana restaurant which makes the best sambal, sundanese make the best sambal ever)
9 - savour poke sushi (poke sushi IS an institution!)
10 - eat congee and lots of congee
11 - eat satay (javanese make the best satay ever)
12 - visit asean secretariat
13 - visit inaya (and her soon-to-be newborn baby
14 - visit my nutritionist
15 - buy DVDs at mangga dua
16 - s.h.o.p
17 - make dinner for the family (mhwahahaha!)
18 - drive without having to worry of speed limit :p
19 - catching-up with the bestfriends
20 - play with nduty with language only i and ade and nduty understand
21 - indulge cable tv
22 - watch E! everyday
23 - accompany mum shop fabrics and gold and learn the art of haggling from her excellency
24 - buy a new sony ericsson earphone
25 - have lunch with dad near/in his office whenever possible
26 - jog/swim regularly to sustain the weightloss
27 - watch local tv also and figure out what this roncar ad is all about
28 - make a kebaya (why for independence day of course, and for other indonesia-related events)
29 - buy a nice dress for hari raya
30 - have afternoon naps with mum
31 - more etc.etc.

April 25, 2008

i am broke (feat. help me mommy)

all these backpacking trips
and gourmet dinings
and autumn-wear shopping
do cost me quite a lot

i don't really check my account balance regularly
afraid that it might get fewer
and fewer everyday

but something inside me say:
of course it will get fewer
as i shop almost everyday

spending money
is one of my vicious circles in life aside
from overeating and self-deprecating

but something inside me say:
of course it will get fewer
as i shop almost everyday

whooppssie
how come i am now owning so few!
it is time to live on budget

but how
but how
tell me tell me how
but how
but how

April 20, 2008

is it just me or do you also think that cutaway heels are bizzare

the more i see them the more i am convinced that they are the most bizzare-looking shoes ever. ever. ever.

this one is from junko shimada.


April 15, 2008

perbincangan YM #152313

tipikal perbincangan YM sehari-hari nomor 152313:

imbi: eh bo. ini adalah berita yan baru saja kuketahui
dayen: apahkah
imbi: daniel craig udah punya anak umur 15 tahun
imbi: what the fuck
dayen: wtf
dayen: tapi gak heran sih
dayen: he is such a hottie
imbi: IYAAAAHhh
dayen: gue akan menebar sperma dimana2 if i were him
imbi: *pingsan dengan perlahan
imbi: HUAHHAHAHAHA...u r such a promiskiyus
dayen: i am not promiskiyus i am just horny
dayen: *mau dong ditebar sperma sama daniel craig
imbi: TAI
imbi: ANTRI
dayen: wahahahaahahahahahha

nasi ketan

dari kemarin kok otak gue mikirin nasi ketan melulu ya.

nasi ketan aku ingin sekali memakanmu. huuhuu

April 14, 2008

four size smaller and a catastrophe

as i was spending my friday afternoon watching a british reality tv show where two (stylish) women attempt to do a makeover someone's wardrobe and look - i glanced at my own wardrobe and sweet niblet i should get meself new clothes!

i actually didn't want to and plan to buy clothes back home in jakartaland - but i do realise these few weeks that although i love the feeling that i am shrinking, my jeans are getting saggier and saggier and there are times when i feel like i am dressing like ms.mcfrumpy or like those kids around the block who fashion jeans 3 size bigger, with hood and all.

so i bought several fashion magazines (ahh civilisation!) to sort of update this laid-back self and then went shopping and got myself a new pair of jeans (FOUR SIZE SMALLER) and a nicely tailored black tweed that would come very snuggly (and pretty) in wellington's windy autumn. i also bought red flats and a black maryjane. and a new haircut.

the haircut was a SERIOUS DISASTER. THE STYLIST CUT AT ALL THE WRONG PLACES HENCE MAKING MY FACE SEEM TO INFLATE. and bloudyhell haircut here is twenty times more expensive than jakarta. remind me NOT TO HAVE my hair cut by someone who doesn't seem to have her hair trimmed for ages.

all those money for this?!!!

April 8, 2008

5km marathon training: week 1

as suggested by www.runnersworld.co.uk and with a bit of my own modification, below is my training regime week 1.

mon - rest day
tue - today i walked 2.5 hours nonstop
wed - run 1 mins, walk 1 mins, repeat 10 times
thu - run 2 mins, walk 4 mins, repeat 5 times
fri - rest day
sat - walk uphill to kelburn
sun - run 2 mins, walk 4 mins, repeat 5 times

April 2, 2008

to the southmost part of the north island and everything in between

31 march 2008

04.15-05.00: woke up, made bed, fried those chips and fish fillets for picnic

05.00-06.30: went to wellington, fetched karl and levi at mcd newtown - i went to the wrong mcd, excuses moi i was half asleep. fetched livia at stafford. off we went


06.30-08.00: journey to featherston was magnificent. the sunrise is very pretty. the road however was scary. up-down the hills with the sea below. i just love driving. my dad loves driving

08.00-08.30: went to the henley lake at masterton to find out that they cancelled the morning hot air balloon show because the wind was too strong - wtf - we were so dissapointed

08.30-09.30: didnt know what to do we went to stonehenge aotearoa - its like a stonehenge - but the tacky version of it. so tacky that i insisted on seeing. road there was nice. hills hills and sheeps and cows. too many of them in fact that the air smelt bad. but when we arrived the stonehenge was closed and we just found out that you have to make an appointment first (but lonelyplanet didnt say that!). sucky dissapointment number two


09.30-10.30: sulking on our misery we went to greytown - a small yet charming little town that i fell in love with. the people are really friendly that even passerbies smile to each other (unlike wellingtonians - but we're still charming). we ate some french bread (i ate eclairs) at this french bakery where people queued. the bread was good. finally we went to schoc - an amazing chocolatier. they have really weird tastes like earl grey, lime chilli, rose, lavender, olive, geranium, pepper, basil and 47 other tastes. it tastes extremely good also! amazing. my favorite so far is rose. must_visit_again


10.30-13.00: went to martinborough to do some wine-tasting. i didn't take even a sip because i was driving boohoo. we went to four or five vineyards. some of them are free the other you have to pay between 2 to 5 dollars. not bad


13.00 - 15.30: went down to cape palliser. cape palliser is the southmost point of the north island. the road there is rather bumpy as it is gravel road (i feel sorry for the car haha) but the view is just amazing. the beaches are rugged and there is this sense of out of the world feel as you arrived. there is a seal colony. i saw some of them they were all sleeping (or just enjoying the sun). cute animals. i didn't climb up to the cape palliser lighthouse though. its like climbing up to the 11th floor. no thankyou


15.30-19.30: on our back we planned to go straight ahead to wellington but dina told us that the evening show is on so we went back to masterton. so yes. there were hot air balloons as we expected. they gave us balloons also. i felt so happy like a nine-year old



19.30-22.00: we went before the fireworks started because i was getting sleepier and i didn't want to risk driving under sleeping influence. the way back was crazy. as we had to pass the zigzaggy road of wairarapa and it was raining so hard and the inside part of the window evaporated. so yeah. i vow not to drive through that hills if it rains

22.00-24.00: dropped livia at stafford. went to vieng's house again with karl and levi (hah i am so cheap i dont want to spend 4 dollars per hour for parking in front of stafford house) so i parked all the way at porirua

09.00: returned the car back to apex. i was so tired. and hadn't even started on the policy tools and practice assignment

(i finished it of course the next day at 3.30 PM with extrahard labour and two plates of indomie at night and the very few moments of grace)

wellington-kapiti-otaki-porirua

29 march 2008

9.00: fetched car from apex rental cars, check check, off i went

9.00 - 9.30: went to newtown, whatever bays around wellington city, driving's pretty good, i went too slow - but give me a break, newbies here, wonderful wonderful wonderful scenery, must go to these bays again sometimes (karl texted, 'diana we're at campus already')

10.00: karl and levi joined we went up to the kapiti coast


10.00-12.00: played at the kapiti coast or the coast of dead birds. when i stepped in i thought
those are feathers but they're actually dead birds. it was soooo disgusting (ewww and icky too).
the kapiti island in front of the kapiti coast is a bird sanctuary perhaps these poor birds got
carried away by a tide or something. beach was empty

we had lunch at the park in front of the beach. there were lotssss of ducks. and they were
following us because we had foods. the ducks that were inside the pond went up and crowded us. if they were in jakarta they wont be alive and directly made into tender roast duck instead hahahaha

12.00-13.00: went further up to otaki beach. cleaner beach. but reallly quiet
13.00 - 15.00: went down. passed lower hutt. (not a really impressive city). stopped at pak n save to use the toilet hehehe. went back to wellington
15.00 - 15.30: went to pipitea. met vieng and nak. tried to persuade nak to join. nak joined us to
oriental bay
16.00 - 17.00: went to oriental bay. persuaded nak even more to join tomorrow. dropped karl and
levi and nak at their houses. went back to pipitea

17.00 - 18.30: fetched vieng. went up to porirua. stopped by at new world to buy some food. went to chitt's house as his family came the day after. went to vieng's house. got honked by this lady because i didn't 'give way'. i hate give-ways. we don't do give-ways in indonesia

18.30 - 04.00: i lovee vieng's house. so cozy and spacious with amazing view. helped vieng cook. me cut carrots and potatoes and wasted quite lots of them hehehe. ate good laotian foods with vieng and chitt. talked nonsense until twelve. took bath and then slept. everything perfect.