weightloss and much more

anon quotes

2008-10-14T15:11:00.003+07:00

"i still can't believe that they decided to move in together. they've just been together for like, a month. even monica and chandler moved in together at season 6!" - over shiraz and cheese, the terrace

"but he's five years youngers than me. that's like, he was just born when i entered elementary school." - mezzanine, rutherford house

"my exams will finish on the 4th or 5th...do you wanna have lunch..or something after that?" -text message

friend #1: "he's been hurting you and you're still nice to him?"
friend #2: "because i don't want to be the bad one you see. i want to be the good person. the bigger person."
friend #1: "um...."
friend #2: "well, literally i am, but." - mezzanine, rutherford house

friend #1: "so have you been to burma?"
friend #2: "yes in 2005. by the way, you should call it myanmar, politically correct."
friend #1: "i can call it anyway i want to. the media calls it burma."
friend #2: "but you're a southeast asian, you should call it myanmar." - over dinner, the terrace

friend #1: "i really want to drink that wine. but those girls are sitting in front of me."
friend #2: "so?"
friend #1: "because i know them and i don't want them to be all judgemental about me drinking alcohol."
friend #2: "yeah but you're just being judgemental about them being judgemental if they see you drinking that wine." - fujiyama restaurant

"this ostrich tastes like beef. i feel scammed." - the chameleon, intercontinental

"i really shouldn't have come to the dinner. what makes me feel blah is the fact that how i can still be affected seeing the two of them together - and i really didn't see it coming. that it can still upset me. shucks." - mezzanine, rutherford house

the eid

2008-09-30T19:01:00.002+07:00

it's 12.51AM of 1 shawal and usually at this time i already slept with an extremely full stomach of all the glorious eid dishes.

or sometimes i tried really hard to sleep but i couldn't - the masjid next to our house do the takbir for one full night. sometimes i wish their speakerphone got broken or something.

and by 5AM dad would wake the four of us and he would be this extremely annoying if by 5.15AM we are still in our bed. he always said that we might not get a praying spot at the masjid. dad, we live next to the masjid, there's no way we could not get a spot. i never argue that with him by the way. it's taken for granted, we always leave the house by 6.15.

oh yeah, do you notice that it's always sunny in the morning of 1 shawal?

after the eid prayer we would do the sungkeman, a.k.a the javanese way of showing respect and asking for forgiveness. it's always solemn when we do it to my mom and dad. but my sisters don't really take sungkeman with me seriously. disrespectful lots.

and mom and dad will give us the eid pocket money. but i've stopped receiving mine since i got my first job.

then we'd go to gramps' house and see mum's 100+ relatives or so. jakartans breed like rabbits. but it's always fun. they are the most kind-hearted people ever.

around 4pm we usually head back home but stop by first at some supermarket to buy 'travel-foods' that is, chips and chocolates and the likes, for the overnight drive to my dad's hometown of cepu.

at 8pm my dad the obsessive-compulsive would make sure that our suitcases have been put in his car. he always drives his red toyota land cruiser to cepu, his pride and joy, the car that is. i remember that he really wanted that car since 1996 or so but can afford to buy it only in 2004.

when we were still kids mum used to make lemper, sandwiches and other snack foods for the trip. 'to save money' she said. but most of the time we ended up not eating those foods and opted for chips and chocolates. she stopped making them when i was 17.

back to the land cruiser, we have a sort of seating arrangement. driver seat = dad, front seat = mum or me, middle seat = anita/mom or me, back seat = attika/ade. it's obvious that age determines where we sit. i am usually in the front seat when dad needs help with navigation/the map, or when the air conditioner gets too cold.

we sing a lot in the car. like a lot. or we play the 'read the sign' game. so we read aloud every sign that we see on the road, the winner is one who can say it the most. it is through the sign game that we know that the wasgitel tea stands for 'wangi sepet legit kentel'.

at 2.30AM (or anytime my dad feels like waking up) we will leave the house to cepu. my dad is the best driver ever. we leave the house that early to avoid heavy traffic. the jakarta-cepu route that is usually 12-14 hours by car can be done in just 7-8 hours.

this year same thing will happen. exactly same thing but without me.

and i will never see eid the same again.

bika ambon gosong

2008-09-25T16:41:00.004+07:00

title is self-explanatory. i blew up the cake.

we die to each other daily

2008-08-25T17:44:00.001+07:00

we die to each other daily. what we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. and they have changed since then - t.s. eliot, the cocktail party

why do we choose this path and not the otherwise.
maybe we both are not capable of taking that risk.
maybe we are not great lovers after all.
what is it that really scares us.
what is it that distance us apart.

i live, and die to you, daily.

what is really to worry about

2008-08-20T18:41:00.002+07:00

benjamin paradza, a public policy student and a classmate of mine, delivered a public lecture today on the judiciary in zimbabwe. ben was a high court judge back then in zimbabwe. one of his court decisions did not please the leader, mr. robert mugabe. long story short, his life were threatened and he had to leave the country and enter new zealand as a refugee.

sometimes we indonesians see our freedom of speech, the freedom of a judicial system to make independent judgement and the capacity of us to exercise all of that without fear, for granted. and paradoxically, sometimes we worry that freedom of speech would lead us to only messy situations.

but what is really to worry about?

i personally trust that indonesians are capable of exercising a check and balance system - it might not be smooth, but it's there. the capacity of us for doing so is so fundamental, as it assures that everybody is heard and be heard, whether they like or not, whether they agree or disagree. and the fact that the state protects our freedom of speech, is something that we really should not take for granted.

i hope the state would never change their mind. i really can't think of the otherwise.

good to be back

2008-08-11T12:07:00.003+07:00

long time no post.

i have been busy studying (yes you read that right) as next week my classes will start.

ahh..the thrill of postgraduate life.

it's good to be back.

percakapan jarak jauh tidak penting dengan bebeb

2008-06-09T19:41:00.002+07:00

bebeb = adikku yg berusia 15 tahun (nama asli: ade)

berikut adalah percakapan hari ini yg tidak penting:

diana: beb masa besok aku mo ngopi sama cowok yg aku bahkan tidak begitu kenal
bebeb: apa? mbak diana mo kencan?
diana: enggak beb bukan kencan, minum kopi
bebeb: ciyyeehh kakakku sudah beranjak dewasa, sudah balig nyahaahhaaaahaha (bebeb = adik yang suka melecehkan kakaknya, diana = kakak yang tidak punya wibawa)

bebeb: emang namanya siapa?
diana: s-----h
bebeb: siapa? surap? urap?
diana: beb, jangan dibuat main deh, kayak nama kamu gak aneh aja kalo disebut sama bule, 'what is your name? what? eddy? edi?'

bebeb: iya jadi kak masa ada anak teknik yang suka sama aku...makanya kakak cepetan punya pacar dong, jadi ade juga boleh pacaran, yah yah
diana: aku bilang mama ah! hahahahahahaha (diana = tipikal kakak culas dan pengadu)
bebeb: kakak jangan bilang mama! nanti aku bilangin ke mama kalau kakak disana kerjaannya ---- ---- sama ----- -----
diana: halah kamu tapi kan gak punya bukti weeeekkk (sambil menjulurkan lidah, padahal jarak jauh, refleks yang aneh)
bebeb: punya sih! kakak kan waktu itu kirim fotonya di ym
diana: (terdiam menyadari kebodohan)
diana: ya udah deh aku gak bilang mama, aku cerita ke attika-chan tapi boleh ya

microwave chicken and no surprises

2008-05-21T05:09:00.003+07:00

oil price hits $129 per barrel today. are we in recession already? this one looks like it's going to stay pretty long.

former jakarta governor (and the most respected one) - mr. ali sadikin died yesterday. may you rest in peace.

cooking raw chicken by just microwave-ing it turned out very simple and tasty too. i've seen my flatmate alice done it couple of times but was too reluctant to try it, as i thought that it is beyond the traditional way of cooking (fry, boil, grill, stew), and microwave, i thought, is just for heating purposes. my perception thus has changed. although my mother would so not approve cooking raw chicken using microwave.

i gain 1.2 kilos due to the excessive party foods and drinks and my sudden cravings on mince pie and chips on 10pm every night. dammit. i am not going back to THAT size anymore. i joined the campus gym yesterday but only for the group exercise classes. yesterday we did yoga and i couldn't do the boat position. my belly and thighs are so big they have a sense of gravity of their own. and now i am having stiff muscles. ooh shoot.

i am overplaying radiohead's no surprises. and rialto's and good old smashing pumpkins. i miss the old-schools. they make me feel mushy and depressed and sorrowful and i like it.

on people who make fun of others and how i wished they were not like that

2008-05-19T05:03:00.003+07:00

last weekend i went to the embassy for one of those gatherings. i haven't seen my fellow indonesians in quite a while so i thought that meeting a bunch of them could cure my homesick a bit. they cured it very well you bet - i don't miss indonesia anymore.

long story short, there were some people whom i just met, who started their first few lines of conversation with: 'mbak, why are you so big?' or 'why don't you diet?' do note that i just met these people and these happened in front of others as well.

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT. i have been living in wellington for four months and the people are nice and sweet and encouraging and not once i felt offended/discriminated yet the first offense i got is from my fellow indonesians. how ironic.

just like in most cases, i let that bapak-bapak laughed at me and their own jokes and let others to laugh at me as i responded jokingly and let myself be the object of bully although i wished the bapak-bapak did not make fun of me and the other people did not laugh at me and i did not let
myself to be the object of bully.

i seriously wished they were not like that. i mean, what can you truly expect when you put a
person down? what is the point of condescending someone -especially in front of others- other than to explicitly humiliate that person? and what did you get from that? a good laugh? can you really laugh on other people's misfortune/weaknesses? because yes i let you laughed at me and make me feel bad about myself that i could not live to your standards of normalcy and i might get a nervous breakdown of self-pity and self-loathe one day and you won't even know or care. so there are you happy now.

i have been fat for too long and have received too much insults so i have quite managed to let the insults passed. but i don't think that i will stoop down to their level and make fun of them in
return. although now i am seriously thinking of giving a comeback - for the sake of i don't get your jokes.

and i really wished that they were not like that. their attitude is a reminder for me of how
judgemental and nosy some people (indonesians) can be. and as long as you don't conform with the values they believe in, you will always be looked down on, through various unimaginable ways. i wish that they could be more civil. i wish that they could come up with better jokes.

the austrian man

2008-04-29T18:00:00.002+07:00

the austrian man who locked his daughter for 24 years and sexually abused her and have seven children with her is JUST_DISGUSTING.

this is insane.

the strapless bra

2008-04-27T15:07:00.002+07:00

i went to one of the stores in lambton quay today to buy a strapless bra - i never have one before because my mum is so convinced that there is no strapless bra my size and my mum always buy me my bras because i am too ashamed to buy one myself because i am afraid that the store might not have my size which is quite true because i know my mum always go to this store in mangga dua to buy my bras and once i went with her and the store owner didn't even ask my size because the first few words that came out of my mum's lovely lips were: 'i want the biggest bra for my big daughter!' and as a typical indonesian response in that sort of situation, all the people in the store started staring at me for three seconds and then started laughing in which my mum then went kiddingly innocent by saying 'yes i've told my daughter many times to lose weight gak tau nih susah amat ngurusin badan' and people started to look strangely at me between pity and disgust. i do not want to go through that sort of humiliation again, ever.

so god bless new zealand because in this country there are bras and strapless bras my size. even if my weight was still 26 kilos higher there is also bras for that size. so i was quite happy. there is this particular strapless bra that i like which price is equal to the minimum wage in indonesia. what is even more ironic is that the bra is made in indonesia. heck the irony of export-import.

i practically spent another 30 minutes there just to decide whether to buy the bra or not and with due respect to indonesia's minimum wage i decided to buy it because how can i wear a nice-fitted see-through kebaya without a strapless bra, and i never have one before, fair reasons no. and this bra - it was a nice one, it fitted perfectly. although the cup is a wee too big. i think my boobs are also shrinking due to weightloss. seriously if i do ever reach my ideal weight, my arse and boobs will be like, vanished, i am flat as an ironboard.

so i walked to the cashier and holy smolly the cashier was a guy. it's the whole humiliation thing again but this time it was just me and my ridiculous fear of what-ifs. what if the guy who i don't even know thinks 'hah this fat chick is buying a strapless bra mhwahahaaha', what if the cashier guy thinks that i don't deserve a strapless bra. long story short i didn't buy the strapless bra. it is crazy how our fear can control our action.

i mean, why should i care at the first place. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY. but at that point inside the store, i did care. i fear his perception of me (the fat chick). i fear the possibility of being humiliated (which is quite unlikely because my mum wasn't there with me). i fear that i can't stand the feeling of a stranger seeing the size of my bra.

this is one of those times when my self-confidence hit rock bottom. i should not kid myself - I AM STILL FAT. there is a huge volume of fats inside my body that needs to be shed. but now i am a much happier and healthier person. and yes sometimes reality hits me, and occassional ridiculous fears do strike. i do really need to know how to master my fears however. and bounce back.

i am going to go back to the store tomorrow and buy that strapless bra.

things to do while in jakarta

2008-04-26T16:40:00.002+07:00

it is still sixty-something days left before the trimester break to jakarta and i have figured out already what i want to do there. i am perfecting my to-do list each time before i sleep every single night - especially if i can't sleep. my brain works best for stuff like this.

things to do:

1 - go to bersih sehat
2 - go to malls (asians make the best malls ever - tacky yet addictive)
3 - have my hair done (another smoothing)
4 - have my hair cut
5 - have my eyebrows plucked
6 - see my nutritionist
7 - eat cow's brain, cow's lung, cow's tripes anykind of offal
8 - eat sundanese food (at that laksana restaurant which makes the best sambal, sundanese make the best sambal ever)
9 - savour poke sushi (poke sushi IS an institution!)
10 - eat congee and lots of congee
11 - eat satay (javanese make the best satay ever)
12 - visit asean secretariat
13 - visit inaya (and her soon-to-be newborn baby
14 - visit my nutritionist
15 - buy DVDs at mangga dua
16 - s.h.o.p
17 - make dinner for the family (mhwahahaha!)
18 - drive without having to worry of speed limit :p
19 - catching-up with the bestfriends
20 - play with nduty with language only i and ade and nduty understand
21 - indulge cable tv
22 - watch E! everyday
23 - accompany mum shop fabrics and gold and learn the art of haggling from her excellency
24 - buy a new sony ericsson earphone
25 - have lunch with dad near/in his office whenever possible
26 - jog/swim regularly to sustain the weightloss
27 - watch local tv also and figure out what this roncar ad is all about
28 - make a kebaya (why for independence day of course, and for other indonesia-related events)
29 - buy a nice dress for hari raya
30 - have afternoon naps with mum
31 - more etc.etc.

i am broke (feat. help me mommy)

2008-04-25T14:06:00.000+07:00

all these backpacking trips
and gourmet dinings
and autumn-wear shopping
do cost me quite a lot

i don't really check my account balance regularly
afraid that it might get fewer
and fewer everyday

but something inside me say:
of course it will get fewer
as i shop almost everyday

spending money
is one of my vicious circles in life aside
from overeating and self-deprecating

but something inside me say:
of course it will get fewer
as i shop almost everyday

whooppssie
how come i am now owning so few!
it is time to live on budget

but how
but how
tell me tell me how
but how
but how

is it just me or do you also think that cutaway heels are bizzare

2008-04-20T17:34:00.001+07:00

the more i see them the more i am convinced that they are the most bizzare-looking shoes ever. ever. ever.

this one is from junko shimada.

perbincangan YM #152313

2008-04-15T16:34:00.004+07:00

tipikal perbincangan YM sehari-hari nomor 152313:

imbi: eh bo. ini adalah berita yan baru saja kuketahui
dayen: apahkah
imbi: daniel craig udah punya anak umur 15 tahun
imbi: what the fuck
dayen: wtf
dayen: tapi gak heran sih
dayen: he is such a hottie
imbi: IYAAAAHhh
dayen: gue akan menebar sperma dimana2 if i were him
imbi: *pingsan dengan perlahan
imbi: HUAHHAHAHAHA...u r such a promiskiyus
dayen: i am not promiskiyus i am just horny
dayen: *mau dong ditebar sperma sama daniel craig
imbi: TAI
imbi: ANTRI
dayen: wahahahaahahahahahha

nasi ketan

2008-04-15T16:07:00.002+07:00

dari kemarin kok otak gue mikirin nasi ketan melulu ya.

nasi ketan aku ingin sekali memakanmu. huuhuu

four size smaller and a catastrophe

2008-04-14T07:44:00.003+07:00

as i was spending my friday afternoon watching a british reality tv show where two (stylish) women attempt to do a makeover someone's wardrobe and look - i glanced at my own wardrobe and sweet niblet i should get meself new clothes!

i actually didn't want to and plan to buy clothes back home in jakartaland - but i do realise these few weeks that although i love the feeling that i am shrinking, my jeans are getting saggier and saggier and there are times when i feel like i am dressing like ms.mcfrumpy or like those kids around the block who fashion jeans 3 size bigger, with hood and all.

so i bought several fashion magazines (ahh civilisation!) to sort of update this laid-back self and then went shopping and got myself a new pair of jeans (FOUR SIZE SMALLER) and a nicely tailored black tweed that would come very snuggly (and pretty) in wellington's windy autumn. i also bought red flats and a black maryjane. and a new haircut.

the haircut was a SERIOUS DISASTER. THE STYLIST CUT AT ALL THE WRONG PLACES HENCE MAKING MY FACE SEEM TO INFLATE. and bloudyhell haircut here is twenty times more expensive than jakarta. remind me NOT TO HAVE my hair cut by someone who doesn't seem to have her hair trimmed for ages.

all those money for this?!!!

5km marathon training: week 1

2008-04-08T15:57:00.002+07:00

as suggested by www.runnersworld.co.uk and with a bit of my own modification, below is my training regime week 1.

mon - rest day
tue - today i walked 2.5 hours nonstop
wed - run 1 mins, walk 1 mins, repeat 10 times
thu - run 2 mins, walk 4 mins, repeat 5 times
fri - rest day
sat - walk uphill to kelburn
sun - run 2 mins, walk 4 mins, repeat 5 times

to the southmost part of the north island and everything in between

2008-04-02T17:20:00.004+07:00

31 march 2008

04.15-05.00: woke up, made bed, fried those chips and fish fillets for picnic

05.00-06.30: went to wellington, fetched karl and levi at mcd newtown - i went to the wrong mcd, excuses moi i was half asleep. fetched livia at stafford. off we went

06.30-08.00: journey to featherston was magnificent. the sunrise is very pretty. the road however was scary. up-down the hills with the sea below. i just love driving. my dad loves driving

08.00-08.30: went to the henley lake at masterton to find out that they cancelled the morning hot air balloon show because the wind was too strong - wtf - we were so dissapointed

08.30-09.30: didnt know what to do we went to stonehenge aotearoa - its like a stonehenge - but the tacky version of it. so tacky that i insisted on seeing. road there was nice. hills hills and sheeps and cows. too many of them in fact that the air smelt bad. but when we arrived the stonehenge was closed and we just found out that you have to make an appointment first (but lonelyplanet didnt say that!). sucky dissapointment number two

09.30-10.30: sulking on our misery we went to greytown - a small yet charming little town that i fell in love with. the people are really friendly that even passerbies smile to each other (unlike wellingtonians - but we're still charming). we ate some french bread (i ate eclairs) at this french bakery where people queued. the bread was good. finally we went to schoc - an amazing chocolatier. they have really weird tastes like earl grey, lime chilli, rose, lavender, olive, geranium, pepper, basil and 47 other tastes. it tastes extremely good also! amazing. my favorite so far is rose. must_visit_again

10.30-13.00: went to martinborough to do some wine-tasting. i didn't take even a sip because i was driving boohoo. we went to four or five vineyards. some of them are free the other you have to pay between 2 to 5 dollars. not bad

13.00 - 15.30: went down to cape palliser. cape palliser is the southmost point of the north island. the road there is rather bumpy as it is gravel road (i feel sorry for the car haha) but the view is just amazing. the beaches are rugged and there is this sense of out of the world feel as you arrived. there is a seal colony. i saw some of them they were all sleeping (or just enjoying the sun). cute animals. i didn't climb up to the cape palliser lighthouse though. its like climbing up to the 11th floor. no thankyou

15.30-19.30: on our back we planned to go straight ahead to wellington but dina told us that the evening show is on so we went back to masterton. so yes. there were hot air balloons as we expected. they gave us balloons also. i felt so happy like a nine-year old

19.30-22.00: we went before the fireworks started because i was getting sleepier and i didn't want to risk driving under sleeping influence. the way back was crazy. as we had to pass the zigzaggy road of wairarapa and it was raining so hard and the inside part of the window evaporated. so yeah. i vow not to drive through that hills if it rains

22.00-24.00: dropped livia at stafford. went to vieng's house again with karl and levi (hah i am so cheap i dont want to spend 4 dollars per hour for parking in front of stafford house) so i parked all the way at porirua

09.00: returned the car back to apex. i was so tired. and hadn't even started on the policy tools and practice assignment

(i finished it of course the next day at 3.30 PM with extrahard labour and two plates of indomie at night and the very few moments of grace)

wellington-kapiti-otaki-porirua

2008-04-02T16:24:00.004+07:00

29 march 2008

9.00: fetched car from apex rental cars, check check, off i went

9.00 - 9.30: went to newtown, whatever bays around wellington city, driving's pretty good, i went too slow - but give me a break, newbies here, wonderful wonderful wonderful scenery, must go to these bays again sometimes (karl texted, 'diana we're at campus already')

10.00: karl and levi joined we went up to the kapiti coast

10.00-12.00: played at the kapiti coast or the coast of dead birds. when i stepped in i thought
those are feathers but they're actually dead birds. it was soooo disgusting (ewww and icky too).
the kapiti island in front of the kapiti coast is a bird sanctuary perhaps these poor birds got
carried away by a tide or something. beach was empty

we had lunch at the park in front of the beach. there were lotssss of ducks. and they were
following us because we had foods. the ducks that were inside the pond went up and crowded us. if they were in jakarta they wont be alive and directly made into tender roast duck instead hahahaha

12.00-13.00: went further up to otaki beach. cleaner beach. but reallly quiet
13.00 - 15.00: went down. passed lower hutt. (not a really impressive city). stopped at pak n save to use the toilet hehehe. went back to wellington
15.00 - 15.30: went to pipitea. met vieng and nak. tried to persuade nak to join. nak joined us to
oriental bay
16.00 - 17.00: went to oriental bay. persuaded nak even more to join tomorrow. dropped karl and
levi and nak at their houses. went back to pipitea

17.00 - 18.30: fetched vieng. went up to porirua. stopped by at new world to buy some food. went to chitt's house as his family came the day after. went to vieng's house. got honked by this lady because i didn't 'give way'. i hate give-ways. we don't do give-ways in indonesia

18.30 - 04.00: i lovee vieng's house. so cozy and spacious with amazing view. helped vieng cook. me cut carrots and potatoes and wasted quite lots of them hehehe. ate good laotian foods with vieng and chitt. talked nonsense until twelve. took bath and then slept. everything perfect.

i am so angry with the universe

2008-03-31T16:18:00.001+07:00

throughout my twenty five years of living
i have crushes and fall in love but none reciprocate back

i can endure solitary feeling and the feeling of being unwanted
and build my self-esteem over and over and over and over again

and i know that tomorrow
i would probably be thinking of something else
like school assignments or what to have for breakfast

but tonight

tonight i am so angry with the universe

why do you make it so difficult for me to be loved by someone

on losing 20 kg

2008-03-26T15:39:00.006+07:00

omg i went to the clinic today to do some weigh-in because i havent done so for the past few weeks (i got sick, assignments etc.), so i did. i was afraid that i might add more weight - but no baby, i shed an amazing 6 kg. hence in total i have lost 20 kg.

again, it looks like a HUGE figure, but please note that i am LARGER than an average human being, so.

it's still a long way to go.

nevertheless i am so happy (and feel so good about myself). (^_^) yeay!

random wellington moments

2008-03-25T14:09:00.002+07:00

most depressing moment 1:
when walking against the strong wind from the sea in a cloudy day while listening to all by myself from celine dion (i am a sucker for sappy songs). by the time i arrived at the waterfront i was almost crying if not for the many people there.

most depressing moment 2:
when walking uphill for miles to my friend's house at karori in the middle of the rain at 8PM with a suitcase and a heavy backpack - it was couple of days after the stafford house fire when we were told that we had to wait longer before returning to staffor. at that time i was hungry, all wet and tired. i couldn't remember whether it was tears or rain on my cheek.

most tiring moment:
climbing to the eight floor of staffor house and a hot day with heavy grocery. i feel like i wanna knock someone's head.

most studious moment:
not getting enough sleep 5 days in row trying to finish the assignments i've been postponing for a month (i know it's shameful). and i still dislike economics.

happiest moment #1:
all the dinners and the drinks and the movies and the late-night chat and the operas with the besties.

happiest moment #2:
losing weight hell yeah.
most homesick moment:when i was sick and i was longing for congee. terrible, terrible, terrible feeling. i didn't get the congee i ate indomie instead.

most impulsive buying moment:
when i found out that here in NZ they have shoes for size 11 and 12. and they also have clothes my size. and every time i see whittaker's chocolate.

most indonesia moment:
- when speaking bahasa indonesia of course!
- when eating indomie
- when browsing for indonesian thingy at youtube

most i-miss-my-family moment:
when skyping with my sisters and mum and dad for the first time. and dad was putting his hand on the screen trying to touch my face and mum shouted: 'ihh anak mama kurusan! coba liat perutnya'. *tears*

most mouth-watering moment:
- when eating the salmon fillet at fisherman's table - the BEST ever
- eating whittaker's chocolate yes we should support local product
- when eating lamb chops another local product we should support

most contemplative moment:
when sitting on the bench at the waterfront, bench at the beehive, bench at the bolton cemetery, bench at the civic square. don't we just love benches especially on a bright day while eating ice cream and reading books or folding that origami papers of yours.

ah yes. it has been an interesting first two months so far.

cover picture (19 march 2008)

2008-03-19T10:16:00.002+07:00

the dominion post puts a picture of two men holding an 'old jar lid' that turns out to be a rare medal.

the jakarta post puts a picture of anxious-looking people holding tickets of adam air as they waited in front of adam air's office.

if you think 'how could a jar lid can be put as the cover picture next to the headline of technical recession' and think that jar lid stories should be at the saturday paper instead, then we great minds, think alike.

i learn to cook thanks to youtube

2008-03-13T13:28:00.003+07:00

hi mum your daughter can cook something today and nobody got poisoned. my flatmate today said that 'hmm this is good' and took three more of the perkedel kentang made by...yours truly.

that never happened before. no one has ever taken the food that i cook unless i stuffed the food into their mouth. ahhh the tears of joy.

potato fritters a.k.a perkedel kentang a.k.a kartoffel frikadellen as our fellow indonesian students called it. they generously showed how to make good comfort food all the way from aachen germany. link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygLi-xzy0zA

may they live long and prosper.

homesick

2008-03-08T16:00:00.003+07:00

so this is how it feels.

the awful longing feeling that sort of keeps you from doing anything. i should have known this and admit to myself that i am homesick - but it's just me wanting to look tough (this thing about me wanting to look tough is getting annoying day by day).

because i checked my skype every so often to see whether my sisters are online so i could just talk nonsense with them. or bug my office colleagues in YM for the newest office happenings.

or when i tried several times to make that sayur bayam or that bakwan which i failed miserably and it was frustrating because there are times when you just want to be reminded about how good the foods are back home. no matter how tasty the lamb chops or chocolate fish or pavlova here.

so then i went to a malaysian restaurant and had chicken satay for dinner but still the taste is different. they grilled it differently! they cooked the rice differently!

my only remedy now is indomie goreng (god bless pt.indofood sukses makmur) - the only food that i know how to cook correctly.

and then when i got sick all i want to do is eat bowls of congee made by abang tukang bubur mang gendut because it cures flu better than the overpriced medicine you bought.

i just want to speak and type in bahasa indonesia karena itu mengingatkan diriku akan AYAH IBU ADIK TEMAN KAKEK NENEK SAUDARA NDUTY PIM BAKMI AKUN MAIN KARTU POKE SUSHI GORENGAN CINTA LAURA MARTABAK MANIS TEH BOTOL DAN INDONESIA.

on losing ten kilos in three weeks

2008-02-17T16:02:00.003+07:00

i shed 10 kg in 3 weeks without me realising it.

must've been the hills of wellington and walking up to the 8th floor and my inability to cook.

of course it will still take decades to lose the remaining weights to turn myself into a human figure. but still - ten kilos.

when the apartment building was on fire

2008-02-03T10:23:00.000+07:00

for real. it happened on 3 AM.
i was sleeping and this funny YET LOUD AND DISTURBING alarm woke me up.
bloody hell i thought it was the stupid ringtone of my mobile phone.
i went out to the dining room, almost the same time as my two friends - we thought it was a fire drill so i just wore my flip-flop.
but then ludy who left first came back and said 'there is smoke outside!'
i returned back to my room and grab my wallet, passport and camera (which i latter found out has no battery in it).

when i got out, the hall was already full of smoke.
we went down through the emergency stairs (anisa aidid: so this is what emergency stairs are for!).
when i arrived at the ground floor i mistakenly open the common room door and saw this thick black smoke but then stewart showed us the correct emergency exit.
i think we were among the last group of people who got out because after that stewart rang the fire/emergency bell immediately.
(there were two alarms ringing at the same time)

in an emergency situation i observed that:

1 - ludy only brought her apartment room key, sinh brought nothing but her USB which carries her thesis she has been working for the past 2.5 years.
some people managed to bring their notebook with them, some people were literally barefooted;

2 - during the 3.5 hours until 6.30ish we were all scattered in the street sitting.
some was trying to sleep (on the street), some were still drunk because of the sevens game. and others like me were waiting in agony and trying to stand wellington's chilli wind;

3 - if it weren't for the fire i wouldn't be able to see all of my apartment flatmates;

4 - it was an emergency situation we couldn't help to think of what to wear. i wore my fugly gray sleeping pants and my pink 'obellisita we love u' t-shirt. some people were in their bedrobes, a guy in his dinosaur pajamas, one wearing socks only, some were inappropriately clothed;

5 - sinh's early lunar new year dinner was supposed to be tonight, she has the ingredients for spring rolls and chicken all set in the kitchen :(

6 - the breakfast meal provided at the hall of the next-door church was better than my ordinary breakfast :p excellent chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon donuts!

we were told that the house might be closed for two days perhaps and we were given 5 minutes to take our essentials for the next 2 days.
climbing up to the 8th floor on slippery emergency stairs was not my idea to greet the sunshine. my room was smoke-smelling (damn i just did the laundry).
we were provided temporary housing at weir house - me and syuhada managed to stay at our friend's house, he has two vacant rooms.

my orientation starts tomorrow, i have my one-week laundry that i just washed yesterday and now smelling all smoke, i miss my flatmates, we're NOT going to have the lunar new year dinner tonight, i am not familiar with the streets heading to campus from this part of the town, and i forgot to bring my mobile phone charger.

gaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

finally shall we

2008-01-31T15:57:00.000+07:00

shall we do random ramblings, finally!

first of all - oh gooooooodddddd, am i cursed or what, the streets here are hilly and narrow and steep, my routines now involve walking for at least 15 minutes a day. a walk to the campus back and forth is 10 minutes; a walk to the nearest new world supermarket is, wait i haven't actually figured which one is nearer (the one in thorndon is probably nearer but the street is around 60 degrees steep which makes me feel like sir edmund hilary), anyhooo, it takes around 30 or 40 minutes back and forth; a walk to the beach is easy, also 15 minutes back and forth.

back home in jakarta i only do serious walking in malls and use my feet to walk only to perform other really normal daily activities, like, moving from my office room to the pantry to get more coffee, heck i even use the elevator/escalator whenever available and possible. i don't do walking to literally move from one place to another. we use car, our friend's car, taxi, bus, whatever but our own feet! i feel helpless :p

secondly - my cooking tasted like soil you've heard this already probably but it does_taste_like_soil. however now i am more creative in using soy sauce and pasta sauce and lately i am fond of garlic. so it still tastes like soil but now with a bit of soy/pasta/garlic-ish flavour.

not that i can't buy restaurant food (oh i can't on saturday and sunday because most of the restaurants are closed on those days but we'll get back to that later at number fourth), it just doesn't feel right hahahaha i mean here i am a student on a budget i have to live modestly (i can't believe i said modestly)

i think am losing weight ewww what a disgrace.

thirdly - despite my helplessness on walking and the good food that i can only eat in a limited amount, i L-O-V-E (all capitals) being here, so far so good. the weather, the view, my flat, the nice people of wellington, the smell of the coffee - they actually brew them - not using those instant coffees, the wines, the benches in the park that you can sit on for hours but don't feed the pigeons, and of course the beach.

so far my favorite moment is spending the afternoon in the beach watching the sun set accompanied by the inheritance of loss by kiran desai (soon to be replaced by macroeconomics in new zealand (......)). it feels eerily wonderful being alone.

fourth - contrary to us jakartans who gallivant around the malls on weekends, the people of wellington don't do that. most of the stores (and the restaurants) here do not open on saturdays and sundays, even if they do, they close earlier. my apartment is in the business district so i can really feel the difference - no smell of coffee, the chow mein cube and wishbone across the street are closed, no people around - even if there are, they are mostly tourists who are probably not familiar with the opening hours of stores in wellington.

fifth - somewhat related to shopping, i bought two pairs of woman shoes today (not sneakers), am so happy of being able to find my size, am a size 42-43, the size they have was 42 however, but it can still fit. you don't get a size 42 for woman in jakarta. another reason to love this place!

sixth - i've been reading my modules, am taking three subjects which are all mandatory: a) economics ewww, b) policy tools and practice and c) policy analysis and advising. the reading materials are thicker than blood ewwww again. there's going to be an NZAID student barbecue lunch tomorrow - must be interesting, would love to see other students as well.

click here for pictures!

oh and, i just found out that indonesians don't have to apply for a visa to enter fiji. am just saying.

first pictures wellington

2008-01-22T16:25:00.000+07:00

the first pictures taken in wellington can be seen here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dianadoes/sets/72157603772065286/ - not much since am still settling in so they're just the pictures of my apartment and the sorroundings. god i love the weather.

before picture, taken on 2AM when i just arrived

after picture, taken on 1 PM after i woke up and unpacked

on letting go

2008-01-13T14:43:00.000+07:00

at this time of the day i might be reading the thick GMAT/GRE manuals trying to brush up my score so that i could get into america’s finest public policy school under the fulbright scholarship that i might have gotten. or i might not.

until recently i couldn’t quite let go the fact that i let go my chance of a fulbright interview because i already received an NZDS offer.

i could sign the NZDS offer and have the fulbright interview afterwards, and if i then got the fulbright scholarship i could decline the NZDS offer. it didn’t seem right although i thought it could be done.

i declined the fulbright interview and signed the NZDS offer because the NZDS offer came first, and, i want to be responsible for my own actions and for the decisions that I have made.

looking back now i think i should not have applied for the fulbright scholarship at the very first place. but curiosity kills, and as a human being we always want to push our limit and to raise the bar, and see how far we can go, and get what we think is best.

for all my life i always think that holding on to what i really want is what keeps me alive and strong – but i realised this is not how life always works. because sometimes the thing that we want is not necessarily the thing that we need.

keeping our options open means that we should be willing to let go of the things we have planned, to accept anything that is waiting for us. perhaps greater things. i should have known better.

the futsal pictures

2008-01-05T17:54:00.000+07:00

congratulations BEIF and well done BERC! :p

grab the pictures here in this link folks: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dianadoes/sets/72157603640437243/

please share to others as well.

enjoy!

happy new year, indonesia!

2007-12-31T22:11:00.000+07:00

happy new year, indonesia!

let us kiss our loved ones or anybody next to us, and blow trumpets and immerse in jakarta's heavy rain. and eat the grilled chicken and sip the whatever cocktails that your sisters/brothers prepared.

and play cards or dance sing or just watch TV and see how other countries celebrate their new year (how come sydney has massive fireworks going on and we don't).

i hope we all had fun tonight.

and i hope this new year find us a better person than we are before.

five personal favorites of youtube videos 2007

2007-12-28T23:40:00.000+07:00

i am now doing the listings as 2007 is about to end, henceforth, my personal favorites of youtube videos in 2007 are:

5 - dean winchester singing r.e.o speedwagon's can't fight this feeling
the title said everything. and he got a nice voice too.

4 - snowball the dancing cockatoo
i love cockatoos especially the sulphur crested ones - and snowball can follow the rhythm. amazing!

3 - pak attack in yo momma
this is actually not a youtube material, it's mtv's. i watched it couple of days ago and thought that pak attack is quite funny - he could pull off the jokes pretty well. "but tell me how your mom has more hair than me?" *flips shirt*

2 - full house clips (the tanner one, not the korean)
i grew up watching them and relates me and my sisters as the tanner sisters - heck we even dressed like them ie. matching socks and shirt, black tight shorts and black shoes. this one is a compilation of scenes from full house. dj tanner rules!

1 - anjelah johnson nail salon
anjelah johnson told us what it feels like to be in a nail salon in america. THE FUNNIEST!

on john krasinski, donald and sasi

2007-12-27T23:22:00.000+07:00

one of the useful things about facebook is that people actually use it to interact without having to put too much effort. so instead of sending separate emails/text messages, you could make your life more simple by informing it through one of the many facebook applications.

like the notes.

benazir bhutto was killed during her campaign rally. what a shocker. my sister messaged me when i was in PIM2 with the girls.

btw AADC girls, our pictures with john krasinski (the GAP ad) are here - and lots more including with donald and heavy usage of keffiyeh.

donald and i sort of bumped into each other. he quit his job in poland and has been here since mid november. he will be here until mid-january 2008 - he was wondering if the GW kids could meet up before the 4th of jan - i was thinking of the 2nd of jan, just let me know fellow GWallers.

and to my ex-BERC colleagues: mbak sasi called earlier this night - she is currently hospitalised in RSPI because of dengue fever since monday. she has texted balkum and PDIR and PDIR said 'nah lho..', hehehe, just to let you know, if you wanna visit her i also want to come along.

and that's a wrap.

on secret santa and attika and vladimir putin

2007-12-22T10:13:00.000+07:00

my sister attika-chan arrived yesterday from malang and she would spend the weekend here - she didn't change much after two months, slightly darker, same hairdo, chubbier, and sort of out of fashion. so we're gonna do girly stuff - shopping and sushi and an hour at bersih sehat.

the christmas party in meby's flat went out great - loads of (junk) foods am telling ya. too bad i had to leave early to pick up attika-chan. i got a mobile phone case from my secret santa. check out the pictures in my flickr like, soon.

and vladimir putin just got chosen as TIME's person of the year. check full story here.

a lovely week it has been.

for everything that is worth believing

2007-12-19T22:38:00.000+07:00

i hope my friend will never lose hope

that shit does happen, and it is okay to sulk and wallow
for one or two days, a week, perhaps
but at some point you have to move onyou just gotta move on

that you think somebody is just the perfect person for you
but turned out no
and then you just don't want to believe

because that would ruin your dreams of getting married
in a small church in the middle of a prairie
your dreams of naming your children
your dreams of making your family happy

because your family has agreed to everything
and your friends think that you two make a perfect couple
what would i say to them - you say

there would be a time where you just want to sink deep and sort of feeling
unworthy of living

i hope you will be strong enough
to hit the bogeyman and face your fears with courage

i hope you will still have faith for everything that is worth believing

take a look at these cool stuff!

2007-12-17T12:32:00.000+07:00

the sony cybershot DSC-W55 that i've been wanting since waayy back when.

the hippest thermos ever. got this for my 25th birthday this year.

a backpack that could carry everything.

a notepad with the 13th asean summit logo embossed to remind me of my roots. :p

am sure gonna take them all to NZ. thank you everybody.

*hugs*

hady mirza is the asian idol (what?)

2007-12-16T23:11:00.000+07:00

oh crap this is going to ruin my day. i guess the strategy to vote two countries sort of backfired, and yes i am putting my surreptitious cap.

in this asian idol we get to vote for two countries. like me for example, i voted for mike mohede of indonesia and abhijeet sawan of india - i wouldn't vote for jaclyn victor of malaysia or mau marcello of the philippines because the two girls are like mike's strongest contenders.

imagine if the majority of indonesians, malaysians and filipinos think the way i do - but this time they voted for hady mirza of singapore.

uh-huh. we didn't see it coming did we.

if you've seen their performances you'd understand what am talking about. mike-jaclyn-mau: they're on the top level, they're captivating and have voices that make you shivers. hady and phuong vy would come second: they're eye candy, still good voice but somewhat inconsistent, abhijeet is well, i don't know what to comment except that i listen only to whichever indian songs that abhishek bachchan pretendly sung.

congrats to hady mirza however, best of luck you lucky you.

woot woot zoukout 2007!

2007-12-11T00:43:00.000+07:00

so me and la fleur and darling ucha went all the way to singapore to check out the ever-so-hyped zoukout, and it was worth checking. i think it was amazing.

lots to write on this but can't do it now. however do check out more pictures taken by ucha here!

do you hate indonesia and do you hate it out loud?

2007-12-10T21:40:00.000+07:00

my friend nunki just forwarded this hate blog to us: http://ihateindon.blogspot.com. it is a libelous blog really, and so far got people's attention. if red and white flag makes you shivers and if you're true to your indonesia raya - brace yourself before reading the blog.

it amuses me how the blogger have the energy to hate that much - even if he/she doesn't hate indonesia (not indon you foul) that much and cosinders this as just one of those pranks, well this is one serious hate prank.

i don't have that much of hate towards almost anything. but there's always an energy for cursing.

whoever made it: up yours you f%&!@ of a !*^%&(~@!!

1938 citroën traction avant

2007-12-04T14:04:00.000+07:00

today is le sunoto's birthday and we gave him a frame from royal selangor and a miniature of a 1938 citroën traction avant - which is by the by charles de gaulle's official voiture. you should've seen his face when he saw the car. i sort of wish he'd be jolly like that all year round.

and then there is the birthday card where everybody get to sign. and then there is the fruit cake which le sunoto referred to as 'the healthy cake'. we then sang him a happy birthday and took pictures together and ate our cakes.

i am going to miss this place very much. i feel so mushy. *_*~~

the winchester brothers kick ass

2007-11-29T08:52:00.000+07:00

i don't have anything important to write except that:

1 - dad finally said yes after a week of acting amish so yes i could go and spend the next weekend at siloso beach;
2 - the days of nothing-to-do-ness continue as i savor the remaining 10 days of leave before 14 december;
3 - i have submitted the student visa application - takes around at least one week to process hopefully amen; and
4 - have i mentioned that dean winchester is hot? well he is and he and his brother sam rocks my night from monday to friday in trans7.

it takes three hours from tanjung priok to pondok indah

2007-11-16T21:28:00.000+07:00

the impatient me couldn't stand the tanjung priok traffic with all those big trucks and dust when queuing for toll so i turned right and got myself lost in tanjung priok terminal - warakas - sunter - warakas - sunter - kemayoran - senen - cempaka putih - menteng - kuningan - wijaya - radio dalam - pondok indah. i was dropping my SSEAYP kids in tanjung priok harbor therefore.

*_*

but for the first time i get to see sunter and kemayoran and the small streets of warakas and the old yet charming tanjung priok terminal.

makes me love the more comfortable south jakarta streets even more.

was not overweight overnight

2007-11-12T22:32:00.000+07:00

i admire people who are discipline enough to perform self-control. like, taking care of your food intakes and exercise regularly. or limiting your facebook access less than 15 minutes a day (i can't i have cougar o'connor to feed!). the things to do to meet your own deadlines and to achieve your own targets.

how do you do that? i have tried like a zillion times to be in control of the food i eat and i repeteadly failed. you name it, 'lack of motivation' or 'not discipline enough' or 'i just don't feel like it'. i could come up with a thousand excuses to justify my constant failures. i was not overweight overnight. i know that too well. i know what i should do, what i should eat, the names of nutritionists and doctors too too well.

and that's where it gets ironic - you know what you should do but you constantly fail in doing it and sometimes you just get exhausted, perhaps because you're afraid you might again fail.

the silly part is that, i know that i have to go through this, because the more we try to escape from reality the harder it will us. it is bound to hit us. you just got to be brave enough to face it and be done with it. and then you can move on.

reality hit me now.

them statues

2007-11-09T22:13:00.000+07:00

i just don't get it why they put statues in the middle of kartika utama street - instead of common separator materials such as those plastic orange separators or black and white bricks.

a new statue is now being placed in front of inul daratista's house, adding to the series of statues: the roman soldier, the thinking man, and the man with holes allover his body. a signboard is also put under each of the statue stating: 'sumbangan dari bapak xxx' (trans.: donation from mr. xxx). we get it.

amusing neighborhood we live in.

om shanti om vs saawariya

2007-11-08T21:45:00.000+07:00

choosing what to watch first between om shanti om or saawariya is like, the biggest dillema ever (am being superlative). BUT IT IS, for keen bollywood moviegoers as both movies are to be released at the same date (9 november), tomorrow.

talk about media hype, for example,the past few weeks mtvindia is all about shah rukh khan and the 70s and om shanti om. im in love with 'ajab si' even since september, but now it's just too much with all the 70s theme and shahrukh's six pack. eewwww.

saawariya however, seems very charming, and classy. see the video clips - all blue and subtle yet bright - i don't know how he does it but sanjay leela banshali picks excellent art director.

makes you want to dance with ranbir kapoor in the middle of the rain. hmmmmmm.

may i feel said he

2007-11-08T14:42:00.000+07:00

e.e. cummings is a genius.
--------------------------

may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she

(come? said he
ummm said she)
you're divine! said he
(you are Mine said she)

the traffic in jakarta is stooopidly insane

2007-11-07T22:52:00.000+07:00

somebody with a motorcycle just shouted repeteadly announcing something that i could only catch 'warga pondok indah..', but the voice sounded fierce. it's 11pm now and i bet it has something to do with the construction of the new busway lanes on the main road of pondok indah - which means that all the 25-30 year old palm trees that stretch for around 5km (or more, somebody do the math here) must be cut down. some of the residents do protest but it seems that the pemda jakarta (that is, jakarta local govt) care none.

but then you go, so what do you expect, build new lanes in tanah kusir? or jalan fatmawati? de facto, pondok indah is less trafficky compared to the other two streets. but do you really think that building new busway lanes in pondok indah would solve the problem?

na-ah.

mi amiga really wants to go

2007-11-06T21:42:00.000+07:00

one of the hardest things that you do in friendship is when you had to tell your friend stuff that he/she doesn't like - but you said it anyway because you think you're correct - and you know that your friend knows that you're correct yet truth can sometimes be sucky. hence.

so we are leaving without mi amiga. she really wants to go.

writing in spite

2007-11-06T20:24:00.000+07:00

i am writing in spite.

am taking two days off - today and tomorrow - as i have 17 days of leave before mid december (and mid december is supposed to be the start of my so-called sabbatical). today went unmeaningfully as i spent most of the time watching mtvindia (ranbir kapoor is h-o-t) so tomorrow i have listed very important and urgent things to do:
1. finish the translation
2. clean-up handover notes
3. buy new birdcage for nduty
4. do 45 minutes jogging in the morning
5. wake up at 6 and do 45 min jogging

oh dean and sam is on already. be right back.

the accounts you have

2007-08-24T09:02:00.001+07:00

being trivial on friday, here it goes:

i have four (4) email accounts: one in yahoo, 2 in gmail and 1 office email account.

i have two (2) microblog accounts: in kronologger and jaiku, i wanna be in twitter but they don't receive text from my provider. boohooo.

i have just only 1 active blog: here in blogger. i used to maintain a blog @ friendster, but then i figure it's more practical here, alas this account.

am also a member of friendster and multiply. but only active in friendster.

and also flickr. but i haven't got the time to update it.

come to think of it, i don't think am capable of updating them all. gotta cut some do you not think.

cranky no sleep

2007-07-02T22:39:00.000+07:00

i have this bad feeling that this am gonna be cranky all this week. not that bad actually, as i tend to become more aggressive and hardworking when cranky.

by the by, that's one ugly title i put.

it started off from staying the whole sunday night cross-checking database of projects under whathaveyous - i finished off at 3AM and woke up at 4.30AM. then it was a busy day today, all the meeting next week and the documents we have to finish off. looks like there are a lot of things i have in my tray, and i couldn't really nail them because i am occupied of nailing other people's things not that i want to but then this sort of 'being responsible' feeling just creeps into me and i couldn't help it because you sort of think that things will go cuckoo if you're not doing anything about it hah talking about wanting to save things - ghhaaahhhh thinking about it makes me feel crankier.

i think it's because of the lack of sleep and the overplaying of janis joplin and the fact that my hairdo is now a mess.

oh no, since when hairdo is in the picture. i need my eight-hour sleep.

i am back and i am not happy

2007-06-17T19:32:00.000+07:00

holaaaaaaa.......

am back. i gained my original weight back when i first started in december 2006 - slightly 2 or 3 kilos higher, due to the massive amount of food intakes and a very sendentary lifestyle.

feeling guilty, you bet. hate myself, not quite.

so yesterday in the attempt to work on my passion to have a healthy lifestyle - passion needs to be worked out!- i bought 2 weight watchers magazines and a harvard business review book on managing your time. the magazines were intended to stimulate my interest in healthy lifestyle, while the HBR book - i feel that im somewhat pretty much laid back, i tend to blame that i don't have enough time.

oh another reason, i just got back from ha noi last friday - i love that place, but i felt intimidated in that place- or rather, i felt intimidated by the way hanoians -correct?- looked at me. you don't really get a big-sized person in hanoi. so everywhere i go, they were like staring and giggling and violently laughing. i tried to keep cool and you know, being all 'you can't put me down' look, but still, i feel like gulliver.

and i am not happy.

see my toes while standing

2006-12-22T16:22:00.000+07:00

so far i have lost 7 kg since 10 december 2006. quite fast isn't.

on the first week i faithfully brought my own lunch and was really strict with the calorie intake. le pepe took us to an all you can eat suki dinner at the mulia and i ate only 3 pieces of what i think look and taste sort of cabbagish, one big mushroom, and 1 fishball.

but then i splurged during the weekends. char kwuay teow, fishball soup, whopper [ain't no whopper in j-town!], rum raisin ice cream eaten in the street side while watching people goof around. but i did a lot of walking so i consider that as a bit of exercise.

however i still couldn't get my fatass out for-even-a brisk walk. i did went out for a 15 minute walk on wednesday and i felt so good because i walked around the neighborhood and the air was fresh and the sun has just risen. but after that no more. i have set the alarm to 5 AM and even put my walking shoes next to the bed so i could just put it instantly and then go walk yet it didn't happen.

but i will not give up. move you lazybum!

i ate so much today. cheeseburger, bagel, lemper, salmon salad, and dewi will take us out for dinner tonight so that will be slices of pizzas inside my fattummy. unless i can show my self control like i did when le pepe took us out for dinner.

and when i have shed half of my current weight i will be able to see my toes while standing.

pah pulang mamah basah

2006-12-12T12:27:00.000+07:00

on my way to the office this morning in the streets of cinere i saw a big writing 'pah pulang mamah basah' on the back of a truck.

translated: 'daddy come home mommy is wet'

only in indonesia.

we have got the cattle scale

2006-12-10T20:58:00.000+07:00

we have got the cattle scale in place. my weight did not gain as much as i think it was, thank god. but still, the cattle scale.

dad said if im not showing positive progress he'll throw the scale right at me. today is my first day of trying to eat well. i spent two hours deciding my weekly meal. not an easy job. my diet consists mostly of beans and beans and beans. i managed to put in chicken oregano and shrimp tortilla, but the rest of the food is what my sister would call it goat food.

i didn't do really well though today. our relatives were coming over for lunch so there you go. i ate a piece of this and a piece of that and a bunch of fresh oysters. dammit they were so good, and i felt really guilty.

well at least im doing well on my carbs intake.

typhoon proof who

2006-12-10T20:28:00.000+07:00

and because of the typhoon they postponed the summit. but not the related meetings of the senior officials, foreign and economic ministers.

everybody is typhoon-proof except the leaders.

and just when we thought we have nailed this one. it is not over yet. oh my poor nerves.

all the brouhaha in: http://www.inq7.net/specialfeatures/12thASEANSummit/

by 24 july 2008

2006-12-08T08:00:00.000+07:00

some good news to share:

my family, we, are going for a holiday next week. it's only for 3days2nights, but the heck, we all deserve a short break from the routines.

dad said he will go with me to find the cattle scale this saturday. mom and dad were pretty happy that i finally decided to do something. i am optimistic but in a low-profiley kindofway.

i found this site http://www.sparkpeople.com which can advise your weekly meal based on the calorie intake you should have. they advised me to consume between 1580 to 1930 calories per day. they even automatically made your weekly grocery list!

and if things go well, by 24 july 2008, i might have a NORMAL weight. i am rather suspicious that they were just making that up so people would get motivated.

but,

is not it just nice to imagine that having a normal weight is actually possible.

154,380 time

2006-12-07T11:15:00.000+07:00

i created this blog like months ago as a place to record the progress of my attempt in losing weight and to bitch on whathaveyous.

did not work out. the blog is still empty and i feel like i am going to explode.

i am twenty four years old, a citizen of a developing country where being obese is like an irony to the remaining millions of the malnutretes. i have a cool family and proud of my academic and professional achievements.

everything under the sun but a healthy lifestyle. (and a boyfriend)

this is the 154,380 time of my weight loss effort. i have just read ms. dietgirl's blog http://www.dietgirl.org and got REALLY-REALLY inspired.

first thing first: buy a timbangan sapi, that is, a cattle scale.